"SOMETIMES AUNT MARTHA DOES DREADFUL THINGS"...........THIS MOVIE, FOR EXAMPLE.......

Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things (1971)    We can only guess that the immortal Ed Wood Jr. (Plan 9 From Outer Space) might have drooled with envy if he ever got a look at this hilarious atrocity............

               The woeful writer-director Thomas Casey proved he was every inch Wood's equal in his glorious, unhinged devotion to Trainwreck Cinema........

                Filmed in the sun drenched suburbs of Miami, the film presents us with two of the craziest, dysfunctional odd couples in the annals of crime......

                This presumably gay duo consists of a cross-dressing serial killer (Abe Zwick) and his drug addled hippie boy-toy (Wayne Crawford).......

                These constantly bickering Baltimore jewel thieves have parked themselves in a crumbling mansion across the street from well manicured ranch houses........where Zwick jealously carves up any cuties who crave a roll in the hay with Crawford.......(which seems nuts, since Crawford becomes whiny and repulsed by any girl who attempts sex with him....)

              Before all the grade-school level emoting comes to a merciful end, the body count includes most of the cast......plus a dead-on-arrival baby delivered via an impromptu Cesarean section  performed with a kitchen carving knife......

               We'll say this much.......for an actor who only appeared in this one film, we deeply admire Abe Zwick's full commitment to eye-bulging, giggling  all-out insanity........we don't know what became of him, but in the universe of atrocious movie-making, he should have been made a star.......we bow our heads in sadness at the loss of this talent.......

               For the film.....Minus 87 stars (-**********(etc, etc)......but for Abe Zwick, slicing up Miami babes while outfitted in stockings, dress and wig....we bestow our newly created .....
.....One-Movie-As-A-Lifetime-Achievement award.......

               If you're still alive and well after all these years, Abe, contact us for info on how to pick up your award......a gold-plated Taco Bell burrito that also comes with a $25.00 Bed Bath And Beyond gift card.   If you're not alive and well, smile in Heaven at the knowledge that your portrayal of 'Aunt Martha' lives on forever.........the BQ salutes you.