'COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT'..........LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD-DRIVE....

Colossus: The Forbin Project (1970)   BQ celebrates a birthday today, so pardon us if we make this post short 'n sweet.......presents to unwrap, cake to gobble, crushing guilt to endure when we weight ourselves tomorrow morning.......

               We won't even wait till the end of this post to say flat out.....this one's a 5 star all-time gem, a FIND OF FINDS....(*****)

                What could possibly go wrong when the U.S. and Soviet Russia hand over control of their nuclear arsenals to their spankin' new Super Computers, Colossus and Guardian?

                 Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh..............

                 And you thought HAL was a badass......HAL didn't have Nukes to play with......

                 Holy hard drive, Colossus and Guardian link up into one jumbo entity and seize control of the world.........disobey and the machines send you an H-Bomb suppository......so don't even think about un-friending them......

                This movie has everything........Beep Beep noises! Flashy lights! Spinning disks! Mile long print-outs!   A Kennedy-esque U.S. Prez!  A creepy bald Russian Premier!  Loads of familiar character actors who stand around speechless in white lab coats!

                When the machines go Big Brother on everybody, Colossus's creator, Dr. Forbin (Eric Braedon) has to pretend to have sex with his lovely co-worker (Susan Clark) so they can have some  top secret alone time to plot against the computers.......

                But after a multiples missions like this, they figure they might as well stop pretending to have sex.....

              Best of all come in the third act......when Big C makes the cowering techies fashion him a speaking voice........so he starts talking like a really pissed off GPS tracker with enough auto-turning to make Britney Spears drool with envy.......

              Maybe the hardware may look way out of date, but this trim little classic still has the power to give you the whim-whams.........especially when you realize that Colossus wields almost as much all-powerful knowledge about us as Mark Zuckerberg.........