BQ Memo To Whoever Posted That Tweet:
You simpering tool. Who are you exactly, to judge what your subscribers watch? Or how often they watch it? Maybe you're just pissed off cause you can't charge them per each viewing.
And by the way Numbnuts, how 'bout if you release what you're watching on Netflix.....and how many times you've watched it? Afraid we'll find out you've watched "Fuller House" episodes 'round the clock for the last 2 weeks?
Oh....and your oh-so-cute sarcasm (asking the 53 viewers "Who hurt you?").......what in the holy hell ever possessed you to think for even one second that you're funny? How did that happen.......pop a few opioids with your eggnog at the office Christmas Party? Then staggered to the bathroom mirror and dreamed you turned into Jimmy Kimmel??
Our strong recommendation to you: Shut your piehole (which appears unconnected to your brain), turn off your Twitter, crawl back into your spacious office, get down on your knees and thank God for every one of your Netflix subscribers and whatever stuff they choose to watch.
This part bears repeating.......Shut. The. Hell. Up.
Sincerely...and Happy Holidays,....The Beached Quill.
Ah, before we forget......the movie itself. Basically a very slick replica of Hallmark
Christmas movie directed by Alex Zamm, whose filmography includes.......surprise, surprise,
surprise.........Hallmark Christmas movies.....not a stretch for him.
What we scarfed up with holiday abandon....
* The weird alternate-universe version of "Jingle Bell Rock" that plays over the credits, barely avoiding a copyright lawsuit with the original.....
*The appearance of Sarah Douglas as a cranky Royal Palace minion.....we fondly remember her as the creepy/sexy Ursa in the first bunch of 'Superman' movies.
*The shameless steal from 'Beauty And The Beast'......yes, the Prince gets to rescue our sweet little heroine from a snarling wolf......
*The liberties allowed to director Zamm that he'd never get away with if he'd made this for Hallmark. Our young lovers get to.....oh my jingle bells......actually kiss BEFORE the final 2 minutes of the film. (A huge Hallmark no-no).......and when the final kiss does arrive, Netflix permits Zamm to swirl his camera in 360 circles around the young lovers.....like a real romantic movie.
For that Netflix executive.....Zero Stars (0)....see the memo. For the film itself.....if you love ooey-gooey TV Christmas movies, deck the halls with 2 & 1/2 stars. (**1/2)
No comments:
Post a Comment