'A LOVELY WAY TO DIE'.........SURVIVED ONLY BY KIRK.......

A Lovely Way To Die (1968)    It's safe to say, that at 103 years old, Kirk Douglas has probably outlived almost everybody in the cast and crew of this movie..........

               And that may be Kirk's best revenge........but for the BQ, once again we've struck GOLD unearthing this movie........another oddest of the oddball messes that periodically crawled out of 1960's Hollywood.......when studios had no idea who they were making movies for....or why.....

              Cranked out from the Universal assembly line, the film's impossible to categorize.......or make any rational attempt to figure out what filmmakers had in mind......

                A private eye noirish thing?  A tough cop shoot-em-up?  A twisty whodunnit?  A cheery opposites-attract romcom?

                At one point or another, this movie tries out all of these genres as it speeds along to its incomprehensible conclusion. But what a fun ride.......

                 A Dirty Harry-ish, free-with-his-fists cop (Douglas) quits the force after he beats up four gangsters in a Chinese restaurant. But he's not unemployed for long, thanks his wily, folksy cornpone lawyer pal, Tennessee Fredericks (Eli Wallach, hamming it up as he's a Tennessee Williams character.....)

                  Our anti-hero's new gig: overseeing a sex-bombshell widow (Ultimate Euro-Babe Sylva Koscina) in the midst her trial for murdering her wealthy hubby, with the help of her young Brit boytoy (Kenneth Haigh)

                   Naturally, sparks fly between Koscina and Douglas.....(who's already been presented in the film as.an insatiable hounddog with women).........but who're the bad guys taking potshots at Kirk?   And what the hell's going on in the neighboring mansion, stuffed with more frozen corpses than the L.A. morgue?

                   If you're expecting the movie to answer any of these questions coherently..........don't hold your breath. Just sit back and revel (as does Douglas) in the ripe beauty and perfect superstructure of Sylva Koscina........be still our heart.......

                   What's especially wonderful here:  the supporting cast, comprised of a veritable army of instantly recognizable character actors.......Sharon Farrell, Ruth White, Dolph Sweet, Philip Bosco, Ralph Waite, Dana Elcar, Richard Castellano,Conrad Bain, Doris Roberts, John Ryan.......and even, for a few seconds at the start, a young Ali McGraw.

                     What's especially horrible here:  The incredibly ruinous music score by Kenyon Hopkins. Hopkins overscores the movie to the point of madness.......the cartoon-ish, annoying music never shuts up and none of it remotely connects to anything shown on he screen. It sound as if Hopkins composed the score while tripping on LSD, hallucinating that he was writing music for a 2 hour Warner Brothers Loony Tune. His work here stands as one of the most rotten scores ever inflicted on a studio film.

                    So how do we rate a movie like this.......with so much good, bad and ugly stuff crammed into it?  Well, there's not enough mercy and kindness in the world these days, so we're going hand out 2 & 1/2 stars (**1/2)......which is mainly for Kirk Douglas (at his Kirk-iest) the beyond luscious Sylva Koscina and that massive, wonderful collection of supporting actors........making it still plenty 'o fun to sit through......