Giant ants, giant grasshoppers, thawed out dinosaurs, a giant preying mantis, blobs from outer space, flying saucers, martians, a giant octopus, pod-based body snatchers.......
Yes! Beware the rocks from outer space! And just like the gremlins in "Gremlins", you must never, never, never get them wet.......
If it rains on the rocks? Baby, you're so screwed.........
Cause then they grow if they mainlined Viagra, sprouting up into giant 100 foot tall monoliths......
They suck the silicone out of your body, turning you into your very own tombstone........by the time medical help reaches you, it's too late.......you're stoned out of your mind.....literally. Forget about saying 'dead as a doornail'.....you end up lookin' dead as the whole door.....of a crypt. (or like BQ after sitting through Geology I lectures....)
Anyone left alive is still headed for a world of hurt. The Monoliths also wreck their havoc by simply falling over, smashing stuff underneath them to smithereens. Then they re-constitute (just like Michael Myers in "Halloween"), re-grow and start the falling over......all over again.....
Funny, as I write this, I'm feeling a measure of sympathy for the Monoliths.........
After all, aren't they just like us? Clumsily clumping through life, knocking stuff over and having to get back up and start again?
Well, at least I never turned anyone into stone........except for maybe a few college profs who tried reading my term papers...
So a big-ass A for originality for "The Monolith Monsters" filmmakers.......BQ can't wait for Universal to give this one a full stereophonic 3-D Imax remake........and maybe re-title it a little more sexy...."Slabs With Abs" anyone? (never mind, I think that title's reserved for the next "Fast & Furious" movie....) 4 stars(****)
No comments:
Post a Comment