Snow White (2025)
And now, the very last review of this disasterpiece you'll ever see posted on the internet....
At BQ, we pride ourselves at throwing in the last word on a film that millions of bloggers, professional reviewers and film buffs have already weighed in on.
Rest easy.......we plan to devote as little time possible to picking over the bones of the rotting corpse of Disney's live-action 'Snow White'......
What a relief for Disney when this trainwreck ended its woeful theatrical run so the remains could be shipped off to its final resting place....Disney Plus.
Everything ruinous and toxic in the Disney game plan hit Armageddon status with this one.....and not just their greedy cannibalizing of the original Walt Disney classics in their catalog, converting them into grotesque, poorly made live action movies that nobody asked for even needed.
What also splattered against the wall......Disney's misguided, misbegotten attempts to insert 'social awareness' lessons and lectures into their content.....they no longer were content to entertain us, they were out to teach us.
'Snow White' combined the worst of these agendas......and for all their strenuous efforts, Disney managed to pull off a film deficient on both its creative and technical elements.
And the poison apple on top this cake turned out to be its out-of-control star, Rachel Zegler, whose freewheeling social and political statements made marketing the 200 million dollar film a pop culture nightmare for the ages.
The new songs written for it? Tuneless droning with word salad lyrics that babbled on about.....honestly we've forgotten what any of those songs meant.
The dwarves? Another wrong-headed move. Six of them were generic Uncanny Valley things that looked like refugees from a Robert Zemeckis motion capture universe. ('Beowulf", "The Polar Express") Dopey on the other hand was clearly modeled on the Mad Magazine mascot Alfred E. Neuman. Damn weird.
The Prince? None in sight, as Disney and Zegler threatened......only a watered down, half assed forest bandit who may have wandered in from an aborted live-action 'Robin Hood'. Yuck.
Evil 'Mirror Mirror' Queen? A grim bland Gal Gadot doing the usual connect-the-dots badassery and about as entertaining as her infamous attempt to cheer up COVID-stricken America by singing John Lennon's 'Imagine'.
The result? A mass audience of toddlers falling asleep and adults checking their phones for e-mails.
No need to go on.....and we did promise to be brief. Once again we hand out BQ's very special award for films that achieve a monumental amount of abysmal failure......the AFH....Abomination From Hell.
What's terribly sad.....we've handed out more AFH awards to Disney than any other studio, mainly for their atrocious live-action conversions.
Unfit for human consumption.
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