WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP......SPECIAL 'LET'S GET YIPPY WITH IT' EDITION........

 

Trump reverses tariffs for 90 days because too many Americans were getting 'yippy' about his crashing the economy......and privately admits that come the mid-term elections, millions of voters will send him a similar 'yippy' message -  "Yippy-Ki-Yay, Mother****er!"

Trump voters continue to shake their heads, muttering, "I never thought things would get this crazy" as prices rise and their 401Ks shrink.......on the plus side, Trump announced he was offering an autographed 'Egg-merican Express' card. The gold-plated card, shaped like egg will cost $500,000 per year but guarantee users 5 per cent discounts half a dozen eggs from any store with 'Groceries' in its name. 

Trump orders J.D. Vance to crack down on 'woke zoos'.....Vance immediately had ICE deport black panthers and black bears to cut back on diversity hires....in addition,  a 200 year old Galapagos tortoise was recruited to replace Mitch McConnel in the senate and a hippo was drafted by the Secret Service to work as a decoy by sitting in the back of the Presidential limo as it drives past working class neighborhoods......

Supreme Court orders Trump to return the man he had mistakenly deported to El Salvador.....explained the President, "We did our best to get him out.......we sent down a fleet of Teslas to drive him home....two of them exploded and the rest of them were vandalized. So we recently started a Go Fund Me campaign to buy him bus ticket....."

America and the world breathe a sigh of relief that it's Friday before awaiting another week of Trump madness, stupidity and corruption........To Trump voters: fully savor and wallow in the misery you brought upon yourselves last November....To everyone else:  Have a great weekend!