'HEART EYES'....ON VALENTINE'S DAY......THE GORE, THE MERRIER

 Heart Eyes (2025)

     We'll at least credit these filmmakers with an interesting mash-up.

        Combining a meet-cute romcom with a splatter-gore slasher movie?  Bravo, folks. 

          The question is.....how well does this oil 'n water concoction play.....

           Surprisingly, not bad. Not all that great either, but for a Friday or a Saturday night jump-scare viewing, you could do a whole lot worse. 

           There's an appropriately attractive cast who're game enough and up for the wear and tear the film puts them through.

           And the fond tributes to hoary rom-com tropes get spoofed while still respecting the genre. 

           The film serves up its first (and best) kill right at the start, which was maybe not the best idea in the script. Bad news for Gorehounds demanding creativity in their splatter - the rest of the kills are the usual razz-ma-tazz you've seen in hundreds of other slashers.......

            But on to our rom-com lovey-doveys, (Mason Gooding, Olivia Holt). They're young marketing whizzes (whizzi?) forced to work together on a sales pitch.  Prepare for clumsy head-bumping meet cutes, followed by rivals-to-friends-to-smoochers evolution.

           Before these swell kids have barely moved out of their 'rivals' stage, out of the closet (no gay smirks, please) pops our main attraction, ole Heart Eyes himself. Sporting a mask with heart heaped eyes that light up in the dark (oooooo!!), he tours the country every Valentine's Day, wiping out loving couples.

           And the hunt and chase scenes commence, with Gooding and Holt loudly proclaiming their current shakey relationship status doesn't qualify them for HE's hit parade......to no avail, of course. To misquote the old saying........Heart Eyes wants what Heart Eyes wants....

            We'll not bother detailing the rest of the film, which only tosses in a few more noteworthy kills, amid the usual random slew of stabbings and impalements. The desperate lovebirds try to keep up the romcom banter, but we've all gotten the joke by that time. 

            For horror-hounds, "Heart Eyes" certainly fills the required blood quote and as a plus, their dates will appreciate the constant nods to the kind of movies they force their boyfriends to watch with them. So consider it a win-win for everybody.

             3 stars (***).