Kamala Harris's popularity drives Trump into increasingly deranged rants......claiming he drew bigger crowds than Martin Luther King, "Which just goes to show you, " Trump claimed, "that when it comes to skin color, orange is the new black....
J.D. Vance's 'stolen valor' smear against his fellow V.P. candidate Walz proves completely false.......prompting Donald Trump to boast, "You know, if it wasn't for those pesky bone spurs in my foot, I could've been drafted and single handedly killed enough North Vietnam troops to win the war in less than week....."
RFK Jr. admits he dropped off a dead bear cub in New York City's Central Park......In a tearful, heartfelt apology, RFK Jr. explained, "I'm so very sorry.....but when the worm crawled out of my brain, it must have fallen into cub's ear. My doctor explained that the worm vacated my head because there just wasn't enough brain matter to sustain it......"
American astronauts stuck on the International Space Station can't find a ride home back to earth......Jeff Bezos sent them a transmission explaining that if they order a minimum of 75 dollars on their Amazon accounts, a company delivery rocket dropping off their stuff will also take them back with only a 10 percent shipping charge....Trump claims he could have made a much better hostage swap with Vladimir Putin....."Such a terrible deal.....if I was there, I could've dialed up Vladdy's private line, did you know he only gave me his private line? He's such a sweetheart, really, I remember those good times when we used to piss on Russian whores to see who had the longer stream.....I could've talked him into releasing every single American hostage and the only people I'd give him in return is Sean Hannity and that little KGB guy who snuck a microphone in the bottom of Joe Biden's Metemucil can...."
No comments:
Post a Comment