WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.....SPECIAL "BIG SMILE, THUMBS UP" EDITION.......

 

Trump and his team and mange to sink to an all new during his visit to Arlington Cemetery, including his Trumpanzees who pushed around a park employee who dared to ask them to stop disrespectfully taking photos....."Ya know, when you come to think about it, all these suckers and losers wouldn't be parked here if only they were smart as me and complain they had bone spurs..."

For a photo opportunity, Trump flashes a big smile and thumbs up at his visit to Arlington, the resting place of thousands of American heroes....."Just as well they're all dead here, 'cause I wouldn't want any live wounded guys stumbling around and spoil the picture...."

Prosecutor Jack Smith files superseding indictments against Trump that fall outside of his Supreme Court immunity protection..."That deranged son-of-a-bitch!  I'll have him separated from his children and deported on Day One. And wait'll I get ahold of that putz Alioto, who personally promised me I could shoot people dead on Park Avenue as long it was part of my official duties! I swear I'll have the bastard hung upside down like those flags in his front yard...."

With the endorsement of RFK Jr., Trump automatically increases the weirdness factor of his campaign by 80 per cent....."What a team we've put together here.....how can you not love us?  Crazier than the Addams Family, sicker than The Manson Family.....and 100 times dumber than The Beverly Hillbillies!...and who else offers you brain worms, dead bears, sawed off whale heads...and a new plan to ban childless cat ladies from voting!"

RFK Jr. holds a fund raiser for Trump, offering donors who contribute $1000 each a freshly cut whale head...."It's incredible what Bobby's doing on my behalf!  And anyone who kicks in $2000 or more gets a gift bag personally autographed by me and each one contains a teddy bear just like the dead one he left in Central Park and a bronzed section of his partially worm-eaten brain!"

'ALIEN: ROMULUS' & 'DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE'.....BQ BINGES THE BLOCKBUSTERS!

     

        As the summer of 2024 winds down, we made a couple of rare, back to back trips to our Multi-Plex to feast on two of the season's major box office hits......

          These films, (along with 'Twisters')  were the best Hollywood could come up with to replicate the pop-culture double whammy of last summer's 'Barbenheimer'......

         But then again, this year's crowd pleasers were all continuations of familiar franchises or well known, as they say, "I.P.".  So unlike last summer, there was nothing original to see here, folks. 

          We can't deny, though, enjoying them for what they were.....slick, well crafted big studio product, each one determined to show us a good time.

Alien: Romulus (2024) from director-co-screenwriter Fede Alverez, takes place somewhere in between the events of "Alien" and "Aliens", for those of you keeping track of timelines. 

         What we liked the most about this:   before the movie moves into the expected Booga-Booga-Up-Jumps-an-Alien stuff, Alverez quickly introduces the grimmest, most soul-sucking world building we've yet seen presented in an 'Alien' film. (And we mean that in a good way.....no one's going to burst out singing "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" in this series....)

         The Weyland-Utani corporation rules outer space for profit and treats its workers like literally indentured slaves, binding them to brutally long contracts. No wonder a bunch of these oppressed young toilers seize the opportunity to hijack a space freighter to retrieve those sleep chambers for a light-years away escape from the hellhole mining planet that's their workplace prison. 

         Ah, but the sleep pods are on a massive abandoned and drifting lab where the corporation was foolishly breeding......well, we all know what they were breeding, heh, heh, heh, heh......

         Horror upon horror follows and the film goes out of its way to deliver all the goo, gore and agonizing death we've come to expect in an 'Alien' movie. Face huggers, Chest Bursters, Humans cocooned in gobs of black slime......and an all new variation of the traditional creature. Yowza!

       Special mention goes to young Cailee Spaeny, who gets to play the Junior Varsity Sigourney Weaver Official Alien Basher.  Not so special mention goes to the filmmakers' misguided attempt to resurrect (via CGI and vocal trickery) the duplicitous, treacherous artificial human played by the late Ian Holm in the original film. Sorry guys, but your effects don't look convincing enough to pull that off. 

         Ridley Scott in one his always sharply candid interviews, admitted that 'Alien''s story was nothing a spiffed up, high tech, outer space version of a Grade C monster-in-a-haunted-house movie. But execution is everything and the H.R.Giger designed Xenomorph became a timeless icon, a permanent cultural nightmare. 

         Alien: Romulus, to be as blunt as Ridley, is no different,nothing more than a make-you-jump rollercoaster ride buffed to high sheen. And that's just fine with us.....3 & 1/2 stars (***1/2).

Deadpool & Wolverine (2024   Disney, Marvel and 20th Century Fox should probably bend a knee to Ryan Reynolds, despite the barrage of withering, on-target digs he hurls at all three entities in this movie.......

            Reynolds raises his already high level of meta-snark to stratospheric heights here, deconstructing all the tropes of superhero movies, not missing a single one.  He's like a Las Vegas insult comedian fully unleashed, spewing out so many rapid-fire putdowns, we're not sure it's possible to catch them all in one viewing. 

            And we're pretty sure Disney and Marvel aren't complaining, since they're too busy counting the millions the film generated at the box office......nothing like a hit to calm their nerves after their last few superhero movies were ignored by audiences tiring of them. 

           But we couldn't help wondering as we laughed at Reynolds gleefully ripping the comic book universes to shreds......where does Marvel go from here?   Usually, when a genre devolves into such riotous amounts of self-parody, it signifies the end of it.  

            Is anyone ever going to take a superhero movie seriously again?  Will we ever see critics and audiences rapturous over another one, greeting it with the kind of praise and fervor lavished on "Black Panther"? or "Iron Man"?

            Or we will we now forever expect these movies to tickle us with a Celebrity Roast of themselves?  You tell us.....

            Let's not end this review without mentioning our most favorite sequence.......in which the film eviscerates those dreaded Marvel 'multi-verses' with a horde of alternate reality Deadpools. If there was ever a Marvel trope that needed a well deserved kick in the ass, it's that one. And oh boy does this film deliver it. Priceless.

         Kudos too to Hugh Jackman for willing to go along with exhuming Wolverine to allow Reynolds to explode cluster bombs of  scorn over the entire Marvel universe. And that goes for the large cast of good sports turning up surprise cameos. 

         The question remains.....do we really need another Marvel movie after this one?  Only moviegoers can decide that but whether 'Deadpool & Wolverine's the end of the line (or the start of a whole new comedy franchise) just sit back, snicker yourself silly and enjoy the ride this one gives you. 4 stars (****).

           

         

'RED RIVER ROAD'....WHO'S STALKING GIRLS ON THEIR SCENIC, BUT PERILOUS AUSSIE ROAD TRIP?

 Red River Road by Anna Downes (2024)

       A welcome return to one of my favorite genres in books and movies. peril and terror in the Outback. And by that I don't mean having to wait too long for your Bloomin' Onion at the Steakhouse.

       This time it's Katy and Beth who encounter much fear, loathing and mystery as they travel together along Western Australia's picture postcard Coral Coast, filled with beautiful beaches, lagoons, shark whale sightings....... and abductors of women vacationers who are never heard from again.

        Katy's travelling solo at first in her camper-van, in a desperate search for her missing sister Phoebe, whose similar lone tour of the coastal wonders ended with her disappearance off the face of the earth. Exhausted and haunted by what might have befallen Phoebe, Katy ends up with an unlikely young companion. in Beth. This girl. with signs of physical abuse and fleeing something terrible in her past, begs Katy to take her along on the road trip quest for Phoebe's whereabouts.

         There's way more to Beth than meets the eye, but Katy agrees.......and off they go, hitting the road on a trip fraught with ominous, dread filled moments.

         The women find themselves tormented by disturbing clues, mysterious notes found in their vehicle, and odd collections of stones left outside the van. And what about that pushy stranger in the sunglasses who insists he'd help out Katy if she let him follow her on the search?

        The suspense builds steadily until "Red River Road" finally detonates all of its twists and reveals, the biggest of which is one staggering jaw dropper of a surprise. That brings me to my only minor quibble here with the final chapters, which take up a huge amount of time explaining that twist in maybe a little more detail than you'd normally expect in a wrap-up.
 
        But I wouldn't let that stop any reader who'd love to sign up for a wild dangerous tour through some of Australia's most spectacular locations. Thriller fans will want to say 'G'day, Mate' to this one, then start to Google some of those beach stops.   5 stars (*****)

'ONE HOUSE LEFT'....A BOY AND HIS FAMILY HUNTED BY A VENGEFUL ENTITY....

  One House Left by Vincent Ralph (2024)

       Loads of mixed feelings about this one, a YA horror in the bloody, scary teen-angst tradition of R.L. Stine.

       To begin with, you need to swallow the involved mythology of Cherry Tree Lane (a.k.a. "Murder Road.) A grisly mass killing in one of the houses resulted in a curse put on the entire street......leading to similar, unexplainable atrocities up and down the block. So this little chunk of the neighborhood becomes worse than the Bates Motel - residents check in but they don't check out, except in the parade of body bags that the police haul out of the homes on a regular basis. And that also applies to rubbernecking gawkers who make the mistake of stopping in for a visit. Presumably that block's realtor must be on anti-depressants.

        16 year old Nate and the rest of his family lived close enough to Murder Road to flee for their lives. But no matter how many new towns they move in and out of, they're inevitably followed and bedeviled by the supernatural "HIding Boy" who first put the curse in action. Knowing each new home is temporary, Nate avoids making any friends at his new high school, but that pretty quirky girl Max sends him into an instant crush. Even worse for him - Max and her two friends Seb and Tyler invite him into their little group of Urban Legend chasers, daring to provoke monsters and ghouls into coming out and play.

        In the immortal words of Scooby Doo.......Ruh-roh.

        I'm making this sound like good creepy fun, but uh.....not really. There's certainly no shortage of oncoming dread, frightful moments and an extended third act finale filled with nightmarish sights and a truly nihilistic twist. But the main characters are sketched with little or no attempt at reader empathy, which I thought undercut effectiveness of the horror. While I realize that the final paragraph is meant to pack a punch, it only served to increase the sour feeling it left me with. (Plus, if I moved into a town where the big yearly event is called 'Bloodbath', I'd already rent a U-Haul to move right out again.....)

        The generous 3 stars )***) are for horror completists who don't want to miss a thing........all the stuff you like is here, but I'm not sure how much of it will entertain you as you think it will.  (And don't expect to experience a wave of sympathy for some of these characters......just sayin'.....)

'THE GIFT' & 'THE ACCOUNTANT'....BQ CATCHES UP BEFORE NETFLIX BIDS THEM BYE BYE BYE.....

         Lately, we've paid more attention the to the e-mails we receive from our streaming services.....you know the ones we mean, where they warn you about the movies about to get kicked off the service, so you better assemble your rear end in front of your TV/Laptop/Phone before you miss them forever. 

       Usually these reminders detail films we've already seen or films we would watch only at gunpoint. 

        But Netflix caught our eye when they informed us the clock was counting down on these two we'd been meaning to take a look at for years......

        And bless Neflix's streaming little heart, we're not sorry we carved out the time to finally catch up with them.....

       The Gift (2015), written and directed by its co-star Joel Edgerton, is a razor sharp little exercise in the Cinema of Unease and Cringe.....and worthy enough of being called Hitchcockian.   

         It's a psychological thriller that slowly but sadistically turns the screws on both its characters and the audience. And when it's done putting out its last nasty twist, it leaves you not elated at its outcome, but somehow saddened at the sight of lives destroyed.

         Young married professionals Simon and Robyn (Jason Bateman, Rebecca Hall) just moved into their luxurious glass-walled house. They're approached and befriended with creepy passive-aggressiveness by Gordo, a long forgotten high classmate of Simon's. 

          But something's not quite right about Gordon and it soon becomes clear he's out for revenge on Simon for some terrible incident that Simon perpetrated on him in high school, forever ruining his life. 

          And here's where we end the details, because the nerve-wracking fun of watching a story like this play out is why you watch a movie like this to begin with.  Unlike the  Fill-In-The Blank from Hell thrillers that ruled the 1990's  ("The Hand That Rocks The Cradle"), director-writer Edgerton cleverly flips the script on the usual victim-villain dynamic, deepening the emotional stakes far more than the usual 'Nanny from hell/Landlord from Hell' were ever able to accomplish. 

         Even if you miss it before it Netflix ousts it, try to find it on another platform.....it's a four star gem. (****)

The Accountant (2016) stars Ben Affleck as a most extraordinary action-adventure protagonist. He's Christian Wolff, a wizard of an accountant who not only balances the books, he executes the crooks.......with Jason Bourne/John Wick efficiency. 

        An autistic savant with the skills of IBM's most powerful computer, his clientele seems to consist of mostly American gangsters and European terrorists. And as the guy who finds out where all the cash (and bodies) are buried, he usually has to slaughter his way out of trouble. No problem for Christian since his cruel, ruthless Army dad deliberately trained him and his brother in expert martial arts and sniper skills. 

         Affleck renders this character with surprisingly understated skill and even humor. This is one Rain Man who's going to rain death down upon anyone who's foolish enough to think he's just an accountant......cause he's as good at crunching bodies as he is crunching numbers. 

        Sensational supporting cast really puts this across....Anna Kendrick, John Lithgow, Jeffrey Tambor, and especially Jon Bernthal as an equally brutal rival freelance hitman.

         4 stars (****). BQ says don't let this one get by you either. 

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP......SPECIAL "CUT TO THE NEXT SHOW ON THE SCHEDULE" EDITION.....

RKF Jr. drops out of the Presidential race, endorses Trump....Multiple dead Kennedy relatives, no longer content to roll in their graves at the thought of their descendent, decide to rise out of their graves to strangle him.....

Trump seethes in rage at the DNC convention, a star-studded joy-filled party, as opposed to his own convention, his babbling finally cut off by Fox News hosts to make way for the next program....."They cut me off at the best part....I had actual foam coming out of my mouth and ears.....and other parts..."

Democratic convention features Republicans who come up with the most withering takedowns of Trump......"But don't forget," boasts Trump, "we had Hulk Hogan ripping his shirt off.....no way they could ever top that!"

'THE LADIES MAN'.....A PLAYDATE IN JERRY LEWIS'S BIG DOLLHOUSE......'

The Ladies Man (1961)    What is anyone to make of Jerry Lewis, the iconic comedian, writer-director, and legendary nightclub performer?

             "An acquired taste" sounds like a phrase specifically invented for him. 

              To the everlasting confounding of American critics and film pundits, Lewis was embraced in France as a gifted clown and visionary film director. 

             Masses of American audiences (especially baby boomers growing up) loved his hapless sweet-tempered idiot-nerd-rubberfaced loon character. He crafted this persona during his partnership with crooner Dean Martin, who'd honed his own public identity as a womanizing, heavy drinking, nightclub lounge lizard. 

             Apart, they equally flourished - Martin as both actor and singer and Lewis playing the loon boy by himself in one film after another. And when Lewis took over directing his own films, he proved to be an innovative creative force in filmmaking and at times a remarkable visual stylist.

             "The Ladies Man" came two years before what's generally credited as his masterpiece, "The Nutty Professor". That film took its place as a penultimate summing up of his two public personalities - the unabashed loon and the cold-hearted, cynically insincere showbiz hipster. (the latter of which Martin Scorsese tapped into in "The King Of Comedy")

               Depending on your tolerance for him, with the 'Ladies Man' you get the full dose of unadulterated Jerry Lewis as the braying circus clown working on your last nerve.  (Buddy Love, the cool, cruel Mr. Hyde of "The Nutty Professor" is yet to exist. )

               His name is Herbert Heebert, a recent junior college grad traumatized into screaming hysteria at the sight of his girlfriend kissing another boy. Herbert shrieks for his mom, also played by Lewis in drag.......and I'll leave that topic for French film critics and American Freud-ians....)

                Swearing off women forever, Herbert naturally ends up as a handyman for a boarding house exclusively populated by young girls, all of whom look like what they actually were, Hollywood starlets hoping for their big break.

                Cue the expected avalanche of Lewis's overblown mugging, hollering and supposedly hilarious gibberish he babbles to himself while surrounded by this mansion full of cuties. 

                There's no point in discussing (or attempting to critique) the comedy on display here. You either think Lewis is a riot or  tiresome, repetitive and monotonous in his limited repertoire of overreacting.  But is the genuine pleasure of watching his intricate dialogue timing and chemistry in his scenes with veteran comic character actress Kathleen Freeman (a regular in Lewis's company of supporting players.)

                   (And there's at least one startling, inventive sight gag involving a glass display of pinned butterflies......like something you might see if the film was directed by Frank Tashlin.)

                   But apart from the obvious mugging, let us now praise the some of the extraordinary cinema creativity in "The Ladies Man".....

                  Lewis's boarding house mansion was constructed on Paramount sound stages as a three story set with a life-size dollhouse view of every room. With each room fully designed and decorated, director Lewis, himself and his camera mounted a huge crane, could glide across each apartment for separate scenes or pull back for an impressive Dollhouse view long shot of the entire structure as the ladies went about their daily lives...or sprightly choreographed dance numbers.

              Nobody was more impressed with this feat than the ego-driven Lewis himself, installing bleachers on the sound stage for visitors to gawk at and admire. The crowds included young Paramount intern, Francis Ford Coppola.

               The 21 year old Coppola was probably equally knocked out by Lewis's other groundbreaking technique used in the film - a video recorder sitting side by side with the 35 millimeter camera. Without having to wait the next day to see 'dailies' of each day's footage, Lewis could play back the video version of each shot instantly to judge its value and usability.  (Modernized versions of Lewis's 'video assist' are now standard procedure on every film you view.....)

             Hard to pin a rating on this one. For the sheer versatility of its filmmaking, it's at least a one time watch for all dedicated cinema buffs. But for those with a very limited (or zero) capacity for Jerry Lewis, it's by no means an easy sit.  BQ will leave it a 2 & 1/4 stars......(** 1/4).

                 

'THE DIVIDE'....A FAKE PSYCHIC TURNED DETECTIVE, A HOLLYWOOD MURDER AND A DISAPPEARED DOPPELGANGER

 The Divide by Morgan Richter (2024)

      I couldn't wait to get into this one for its genre alone......an L.A. contemporary Neo-Noir set amid the semi B-Listers who skim along side the cream of Hollywood strivers, all chasing their dreams of fame fortune, million dollar deals and Instagram clicks.

       Definitely not in their league is Jenny St. John, a fake psychic barely scraping out enough of a living to pay the rent on the office she also illegally lives in. Back in her early 20's as a fresh-off-the-bus starlet, she caught lightning in a bottle as a star of the independent film "The Divide". But the ill-fated film never saw the light of day, dashing her dreams and leading to her current miserable life. Pouring salt in her wounds - her director Serge Grumet went on to a fabulously successful career and his ex wife Gena, an uncanny look-alike for Jenny claimed she was the actual star of "The Divide"

       Then Jenny's stunned to hear of their reversals of fortune - Serge was shot dead in his home and Gena's disappeared. presumed, either dead or on the run as a suspect, depending on who you ask. Through her extraordinary resemblance to Gena and her so called psychic ability, Jenny's accepted into Serge and Gena's coterie of artistic-showbiz friends, enemies and hangers-on. She's hoping to pin down both Serge's murderer and the everlasting hurtful mystery of her would-be doppelganger and career usurper, Gena.

       Author Morgan Richter lines up a terrific colorful cast of unusual Hollywood suspects for Jenny to interrogate. But I parted company with the book's fuzzy flirtation with paranormal elements and the all too overused multi-verse stuff, the very thought of which sends me into upward eye rolling. There's no real concrete payoff to those tropes anyway and guaranteed to leave readers fascinated by that part of it unsatisfied.

        But I did fully soak up and appreciate the Tinseltown whodunit part of "The Divide" which does deliver a fair, logical reveal and a suspenseful climactic showdown for Jenny.. Much to enjoy here and I wouldn't mind seeing Jenny take on more mysteries among the upper and lower classes of L.A.s entertainment industry.....4 stars (****).

'IT ENDS WITH US'.......ENDLESS ANGST AS A GENTLE SOUL MARRIES AN ABUSER....

 It Ends With Us (2024)    We were destined to endure this film, since our very own BD (Beloved Daughter) is a huge fan of novelist Coleen Hoover, whose stories of heartbreaking star crossed romance enjoy a massive, fervent fan base. 

         And here, to the delight of Hoover's loyal readers, is the very first film adaptation of one of her overheated tales of damaged lovers whose tortured tribulations consume them. 

         So there we dutifully sat with BD in the multiplex, the only male in a sea of women who turned out for a Sunday matinee......

         Before we laid eyes on the film, we were already enormously entertained by its trainwreck publicity tour, fueled by the clueless, ill-advised and insensitive behavior of its star and co-producer, Blake Lively. (We'll not bore you with the particulars, since you can pick up this stuff from hundreds of social media-hot gossip outlets....)

           Fortunately for Lively, her dumb bratty capering didn't stop fans of the book from piling into theaters to see the movie. Such is the power of "Co-Ho"...(as Hoover's readers refer to her) that not even Lively's carrying on as if the film's a fluffly rom-com could put a dent in the box office.

           Now, at last, let's get the film......

            The good - it's earnestly done, and performed with unerring skill by Lively and her co-star Justin Baldoni, who also directed. Having not read the book, we don't know what liberties were taken to transfer it to the screen, but all the heartrending emotions and melodrama that Hoover's novels are famous for are certainly in place. 

           The bad - the grinding, patience-testing slow pace and indulgent overlength. At a numbing 130 minutes, it cries out for more judicious editing and swift storytelling. The film's running time ends up as its own worst enemy......

           Lively is....(and we kid you not) Lily Blossom Bloom, who's turned a little Boston storefront into a lush, richly decorated flower shop. She's aided in this task by instant best friend-sidekick-assistant Alyssa (cleverly channeling those classic romantic drama Greek Choruses like Thelma Ritter and Eve Arden). 

          Lily carries the memories of her late abusive dad who regularly beat and raped her mother (Amy Morton). But she also recalls her first love Atlas (played in flashbacks by Alex Neustaedter), a homeless, abused schoolmate she befriended, before he left to join the Marines.

          Back in the present, Lily's pursued and wooed by Ryle,(director Baldoni)  a womanizing, six-pack abs neurosurgeon who showed ominous signs of a hot temper. And wouldn't ya know it, he conveniently pops into the flower shop to visit his sister Alyssa.

         Lily succumbs to Ryle's smooth charm and but once they're married, his bursts of rage start to leave her badly bruised....and we're talkin' more than just hurt feelings here.  And wouldn't ya know it, her black 'n blue marks catch the instant infuriated attention of a new young restauranteur.....the now grown up Atlas (Brandon Sklenar).

         It's a credit to Lively and Baldoni's nuanced, committed performances that you don't start to realize how terribly slow the scenes are until the sheer repetition of them begins to take its toll. Then it probably dawns on audiences that this story could have been far more effective with at least a half our sucked out of it. 

         The film also does itself no favors with those obvious picture-postcard Hallmark Channel cutaways to CGI-enhanced cityscapes, immediately branding it as TV leftovers........

         As it stands, though, devoted Hoover readers won't mind but it's kind of a shame the film blows its opportunity to attract and entertain a wider crowd outside of the Co Ho base......something that future directors of her filmed novels should keep in mind. 

           2 & 1/2 stars. (**1/2)

        

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.......SPECIAL "IT'S FUN TO FIRE PEOPLE!" EDITION.....

 

J.D. Vance turning into the new Sarah Palin.....and reportedly angering Trump, since Vance's pronouncements have taken away Trump's long established reputation as the stupidest guy in the room......

Trump falsely accuses Kamala Harris of fake crowd photos and fake crowd sizes......Stormy Daniels was heard to mutter, "You wanna hear about faking size? I can tell you about who's faking size...

The Trump-Elon Musk tele-chat, doesn't quite do Trump much good after he gushes over Musk's wholesale firing of striking workers....Trump tries apologizing to furious unions, "Aw come on,.....you know me from TV.....and I only fire one person a week, unless we need to goose up the ratings...."

Trump's efforts to distance himself from the authoritarian blueprint 'Project 2025' continues to fail......"Honest, I never heard of it.....I thought it was the temporary title of the next Spielberg movie...or maybe the past due bill I sent to Mexico for building the wall...."

Trump's rambling gibberish appears to rapidly increase as the Harris-Walz ticket moves ahead of him in key states....."This is so unfair to voters, " Trump complained, "they were all set to vote for me, the better looking of two guys with dementia......the crooked Democrats had the nerve to put up some semi-colored woman who's actually fit for the office."

Trump ignores GOP pleas to stop making personal attacks on Kamala Harris and get back on message......"I have every right to attack her personally, " explained the ex-President, "first, she hurt my feelings, second, she's a mouthy, swarthy woman, third, she's younger than me, with all her brain cells intact giving her an unfair advantage, fourth, she doesn't babble crazy stuff like me, also an unfair advantage, fifth,......wait, was that four reasons or was it five? I kinda lost count in all this excitement....."

'TRAP'....PURE UNADULERATED SHYAMALAN....THE GOOD, THE CRAZY AND THE CRAZIER......

 

Trap (2024)     To prevent anyone from dozing off during this post (including Yours Truly), we'll mercifully skip the usual yada-yada-yada about the ups and downs of writer-director M. Night Shyamalan's films. 

       Yeah, yeah, we all know the story....the thriller guy who went from Next-Spielberg to Cinema Laughingstock and back again......several times over. 

      Let's get right down to what you want to know about his new one.

      BQ's verdict:  It's a hoot and a half......and we loved it even when its third act goes flying off the rails with what plays out like a string of alternate endings strung together, one after the other. Sort of a Blu-Ray Special Feature that never ends, built into the movie itself. 

      A wondrous, brilliant set-up vaguely based on a true event......loving kind-hearted Firefighter dad Cooper (Josh Hartnett) has gifted his tween daughter Riley (Ariel Donoghue) with the treat of a lifetime - floor seats at a sold out arena concert of Taylor Swift-ian pop Megastar Lady Raven (the director's pop singer daughter Seleka Shyamalan).

       Noticing the overwhelming massive police presence at the venue, Cooper gets the top secret news from a friendly, too chatty T Shirt vendor (Jonathon Langdon). The concert's been devised as a rat trap for "The Butcher", a terrifying serial abductor-torturer-killer. 

       And guess who 'The Butcher' is....(heh, heh, heh, heh.....)

       We can't fault anything in the first hour of the film, taking place within the concert. It's a display of Shyamalan's best use of what Hitchcock dubbed 'pure cinema'......a dazzling, relentless swirl of suspense, perfectly edited together.  And what an actor's dream showcase for Hartnett. We watch his 'sweet Dad' mask begin to come unglued as his desperation to escape the concert increases.  (In some scenes, Shyamalan cleverly frames only half his face on the screen, hammering home the point he's really only half human)

        Adding to the vast contingent of law enforcement come platoons of SWAT teams and FBI agents under the command of an elderly British profiler....played by, we kid you not, the immortal Baby Boomer cutie-pie Hayley Mills.  Would anyone but Shyamalan ever think of casting her in this role?  We doubt it, and we burst into a big smile seeing her on the big screen again. 

         Then, after all this delicious concert cat-and-mouse stuff, the story moves into the outside world. Lady Raven herself gets caught up in the proceedings, as well as Cooper's endearing wife Rachel (Alison Pill).  And here's where the director, for better or worse, does all the stuff he's been raked across the coals and roundly mocked for.....as Cooper (and we, the audience) endure one wildly far-fetched reversal-of-fortune after another. 

          But ya know what?  We didn't mind at all. Call us as crazy as Shyamalan, but we decided to sit back, gobble that popcorn, and take that wild ride all the way to the end. 

           True enough, M. Night's a storyteller-entertainer with a penchant for going way overboard......and more often than not, his ego-driven attempts to top himself leave him with a whole plate of eggs on his face. 

           Well, we say.....let Shyamalan be Shyamalan. Anyone who's that fearless in saying to an audience 'wait'll you get a load of this!" should not be discouraged.  He wants you to cringe, to bite your nails and most of all, have fun with the tall tale he's spinning you by the campfire.

            And damn it, we did. 4 stars (****).