Halloween Ends (2022) First off, anyone expecting the nonstop splatterfest of 2021's "Halloween Kills" will groan in agony while suffering through this one.....
So sorry, devoted gorehounds, fanboys 'n fangirls everywhere.....the filmmakers came down with a bad case of Delusions Of Adequacy.....they decided they'd try their hand at a deeply felt, drama-filled plunge into arthouse horror.
But nobody told these folks that artsy-fartsy horror was way beyond their skill set.......so all they've accomplished here is pissing off millions of dedicated "Halloween"ers who watch the films for a slashin', blood drenched good time with jump scares aplenty.
This one wastes no time in hurling itself off the rails......with the introduction of 'Cory' a feckless, wimpy teen soon off to college. But his babysitting gig for a young boy goes, as they say, horribly awry, leaving the kid accidentally dead and Cory vilified by the entire town.
(By all means, feel free to wonder why this kid's small town suburban house features a fifty foot high circular staircase..)
I could practically hear this film's writers congratulating themselves over what they considered their stroke of creative genius......by allowing a whimpering, simpering minor character to hijack most of the running time of a "Halloween" movie.
In the film's most idiotic of its many ill-conceived plot turns, the woeful Cory crosses paths with our indestructible boogeyman Michael Myers.......and we're supposed to swallow that he survives the encounter, cause monstrous Mikey somehow recognizes a dark kindred spirit in the beaten, bullied Cory.
Yeah, sure. Right. Whatever.
More dumb developments pile up, including Cory befriended by the weary, broken Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis), and tentatively romanced by Laurie's equally unhappy granddaughter (Andi Matichak)....(both of them forever emotionally scarred by the previous film's slaughter of Laurie's daughter at the hands of you-know-who. )
To the everlasting ruin of this film, Michael Myers, who we all came to see to begin with, takes a backseat through most of the movie as it devotes precious, wasted time to the agonies of the woebegone Cory. (Feel free to scream out, "Who the **** is this guy and why is a ****in' Halloween movie about him instead of Michael Myers?".....)
Somewhere toward its end, the filmmakers at long last wake up and remember why anybody would spend time watching their trilogy finale......the promised ultimate showdown between Jamie Lee Curtis's beleaguered, tormented Laurie and the legendary monster who's been terrorizing her since her 1978 days as a teen babysitter.
At least in that regard, the film delivers competently enough, with a finale designed to make it tough on any future writers and directors hoping to resurrect Michael Myers......
But knowing the overpowering greed of movie producers, I wouldn't put it past them......
A must see, I guess, for all 'Halloween' completists......but prepare yourself for a movie irreparably damaged by all its wrong-headed choices. 1 star (*).
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