The Cool Ones (1967) We promised you more 1960's lunacy that would eclipse yesterday's post on "When The Boys Meet The Girls"......and now we deliver!
Unlike the "When The Boys..." travesty, the makers of "The Cool Ones" at least homed in to the youth market they were aiming for.......even though it's apparent the filmmakers here probably never saw a movie since the 1940's.......
But they thought they knew what the kids wanted to see in a movie.......singing! dancing! Cute girls in mini-skirts, go go boots and bikinis!
And the fantabulous....Mrs. Miller! (more on her later)
So off we go to the bouncy, booty-shakin' world of 1960's pop music, where Cliff Donner (Gil Peterson), a tall hunk with a helmet of coiffed blonde hair is already in the has-been phase of his career, warbling cover songs in a bar.
Meanwhile, an ultra bubbly, ultra perky cutie-pie Hallie Rodgers (Debbie Watson), possessed of armor-plated ambition to hit it big, outrages the producers of "Whiz Bang", a TV pop show modeled after similar real shows of the time, 'Hullaballoo' and 'Shindig'.
Refusing confinement as a backup dancer, Hallie riotously attempts to steal the show, and during the futile attempts to restrain her, audiences think she's invented a new dance.......dubbed, we kid you not, the 'Tantrum'. Yeah....right. (and nobody. regardless of their own future stardom, dares stand in her way.....don't blink and you'll see her upstaging a very young Glen Campbell....)
The relentless ingenue convinces a wary, doubtful Cliff to join her as a singing duo. And before you know it....(do we even really need to write this?), they're a nationwide sensation and America's teens are all flailing their arms in Tantrum-dancing.
To hit the heights, these kids need top management and oh boy do they get it.......in the person of multi-millionaire music promoter and psychotic megalomaniac Tony Krum (played with ferocious, Loony Tunes energy by Roddy McDowell.)
And that's all you need to know as the movie bursts into musical numbers every five minutes or so, while McDowell promenades and preens like a rapid-fire Satan, sort of a rock music version Ray Walston's 'Mr. Applegate' devil from "Damn Yankees"
(Supposedly, the script based McDowell's character on the world famous (and later infamous) record producer Phil Spector. Watching Roddy in his full mania, we could easily imagine a future in which Tony Krum's indicted for murder.....)
As for our singing lovebirds......Gil Peterson's major claim to fame seemed to come from his striking resemblance to the Barbie Doll's playmate, Ken. True enough, he has all the emotional range of a plastic mannequin. Debbie Watson, a typical assembly line 1960's starlet, didn't have even a scrap of acting ability to portray single minded showbiz determination. Then again, she's so damn cute, it really doesn't matter to this movie one way or the other.
And let's not forget the stunning, jaw dropping performance of middle age matron Mrs. Miller, who stops the show at 'Whiz Bang' with her operatic vibrato that sounds like air raid siren running low on battery power. (She'd have felt far more at home as a featured attraction in "When The Boys Meet The Girls".....)
For anyone who remembers the era, "The Cool Ones" might provide loads of unintentional laughs. Other than that limited purpose, it's strictly for completists who savor every freakish nugget of 60's cinema.....1 & 1/2 stars (* 1/2)
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