We were granted an audience with The Wizard Of Odd himself....a.k.a. Donald J. Trump....a.k.a. Baby Orange.........who only a few days ago trumpeted his 'Great And Unmatched Wisdom' in a tweet.....
Here's the unedited transcript we sneaked out of the White House........
Trump: Silence, Whippersnapper! How dare you approach the Great And Powerful Oz!
BQ: Uh....Mr. President, don't you think you're taking this a little too far?
Trump: You blubbering, babbling blob of blogging bullshit! Bring me Adam Schiff's gavel and I will grant your request!
BQ: Actually, we don't remember asking you for anything......
Trump: Then be gone! The Great and Powerful Oz must confer, converse and otherwise hobnob with my fellow Wizards.....Vladimir, Kim and whats-his-name, that Turkish Taffy......
BQ: Mr. President........don't you think you went a bit overboard......strapping on a jetpack and skywriting "Surrender Nancy" over the Capitol Dome?
Trump: Silence, you fallacious freak of fantastically frantic fake facts! Do not dare to question the Great and Unmatched Wisdom of the Great And Powerful Stable Genius!
BQ: Wait a second.......who's that tubby, orange man behind the curtain?
Trump: Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain! And be thankful I granted you an audience today instead of 20 years from now........when I'll still be President For Life!
BQ: Well, will you look at that.........it's just you behind the curtain........inflating your own overwhelming narcissism.
Trump: Silence! Or the Great and Powerful Oz will give you a nasty nickname that I'll use in all my tweets.......you simpering, whimpering, baby boomer bleater of blithering bloviating!
BQ: We never realized the similarities before.......you really are the Wizard of Oz in every way.......a scared little man with a puffed up opinion of himself.......pretending you're powerful when in fact you're weak, cowardly and stupid.......
Trump: How dare you speak the truth in this interview! Where's my flying monkey? Bring me my Flying monkey!
BQ: Mr. President, I believe that's only Stephen Miller with a pair of cardboard wings......and not a flying monkey.....
Trump: Of course he's a flying monkey! Flunky for short. Dopey kid, fooled him into thinking I'd grant him a brain and a heart....
BQ: We'll wrap it up for today.......any more Great And Unmatched Wisdom before we leave?
Trump: Yes........Barak Obama has been secretly directing the impeachment inquiry from an underground bunker in Kenya.......in my last poll numbers, I have a 99% approval rating........and you don't want to miss Melania's upcoming "Be Best" Halloween Party.....she's gonna feed chocolate laxatives to those caged immigrant brats.....trust me, there'll be more shit spewing around than my last tweetstorm!
BQ: We appreciate the time you spent with us.....
Trump: Click your heels three times and you can go home........
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