"THE COMMUTER"........LIAM GETS HIS TICKET PUNCHED.......A LOT......

The Commuter (2018)     All hail Liam Neeson..........the one man AARP.............Association of  Ass-Kicking Retired People........

                This guy may be gettin' old.......but can he take a punch or what?  Only Mike Tyson's speed bag endures as much punishment......

                  And we love that filmmakers have dreamed up a whole new genre to accommodate him......Old Guy Battles Vast Conspiracy In Confined Public Transportaion......

                 You think our world-weary Neeson-ator had a rough flight in "Non Stop"?   Hold on to your tray tables, cause that jaunt was nothing compared to when he takes the train.......

                  His new trip?  Imagine "Murder On The Orient Express", "The Lady Vanishes" and the mine car chase from "Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom jammed into a blender.....with a healthy does of steroids.

                   When Hitchcock and screenwriter Ernest Lehman were planning "North By Northwest", Hitchcock toyed with the idea of the villains concocting a tornado to come after Cary Grant in the cornfield.........until Lehman asked Hitchcock, "Exactly how would they do that?"

                   "Commuter" director Jaume Collet-Serra obviously applied no such common sense brakes to the screenwriters here.  The beyond description, convoluted conspiracy aimed at Neeson - prodding him to engineer the death of an unidentified Federal witness on the train - is too ludicrous to explain in any detail.

                   The villains here and their cool, omniscient mastermind (Vera Farmiga) make Hitchcock's tornado seem entirely rational.......

                   But enough of them......and who cares anyway?  The whole purpose of a Liam-Vs-Deep-Cover-Bad-Guys movie is watch our aging hero walk up and down narrow aisles in various states of confusion, anxiety and terror...…...and oh yeh,....absorb multiple face punching from surprise villains, preferably in really tiny spaces...….

                   As if all that wasn't enough, the writers even throw in some well-deserved sniping at Wall Street's contempt for the middle class folks they destroyed during their 2008 meltdown...…(it's a wonder the movie  didn't throw in global warming and the war in Syria too.....)

                    Can't wait for the next more.... At this rate, it might feature Liam kicking and kung-fu-ing some guy while they're both stuck in a Port-O-Potty at their company picnic. Or how about a wild chase up and down a department store elevator?

                   Deep down, we're hoping Liam Neeson still gets to make these movies when he's in his 80's...….whacking the evil conspirators with his walker while they're all on the free Seniors' Bus to the shopping mall...….

                  You go get 'em, buddy...….we're with you all the way......as long you hold those movies down to about an hour and 45 minutes so we don't soak our Depends while watching them.   3 stars (***) for our favorite Golden Years Warrior and his continued dedication to providing mindless idiotic fun to one and all...…...