Monday, May 22, 2017

WHO TO VOTE FOR IN 2020.........THE BQ'S GUIDE TO THE BEST CELEBS FOR PREZ......

            You probably heard about Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson announcing his Presidential candidacy.....with Tom Hanks as his running mate.....

              It's a telling testament to the era we suffer through, with a President possessed of both the intelligence and coloring of a goldfish, that the thought of a Rock/Hanks 2020 ticket is both hilarious and yet completely realistic at the same time.......

               Our only quibble with this ticket......flip it around. Hanks should be the Prez ("Run, Tom, Run!") with the Rock as Vice......that way, the Rock can not only preside over the Senate, but serve as Hanks' bodyguard in case Gary Oldman or Jeremy Irons attempt a "White House Down"/"Olympus Has Fallen" takeover......

                But really, the field's wide open now..... if Baby Orange can be President, anyone can....so the BQ humbly offers recommendations for the Powerhouse tickets to consider in 2020.....

                 Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling   We have no idea if they're qualified to lead the free world.....we'd just like to see them together again after that downer of an ending in "La La Land".....as long as they don't have to sing......

               Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest  Imagine a daily trivia contest based on the previous day's events....("For a trip to the Bahamas....What country did we threaten to invade yesterday?") Ryan can ask "what are you wearing" to all State dinner attendees.....

                Rocket Raccoon and Baby Groot   Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel don't even have to show up in the Oval Office......just supply the voices. And besides, "I am Groot" is far more perceptive and truthful than any public statement Mike Pence has given so far......

              Billy Ray Cyrus and Miley Cyrus  Infinitely more trustworthy and normal than Baby Orange and Ivanka......and at least this Prez would have no desire to date his own daughter....as far as we know.....

               Aziz Ansari and Priyanka Chopra   If for no other reason....to give Steve Bannon a fatal heart attack.....

               Billy Bush and Nancy O' Dell  Only if the newest Bush Prez is sworn in wearing oven mitts, making it impossible to effectively grab his Vice President's genitals.....

             Rosie O'Donnell and Stephen Colbert....Swept into office after Baby Orange suffers a brain hemorrhage while tweeting attacks on them at 5 in the morning....("Raunchy Rosie & Creepy Colbert  better hope I won't release sex 'tape' of them! Sad!")

              Samuel L. Jackson and Quentin Tarantino   Because they'll finally get all the *&^%$$
terrorists out of their %&%$(%& hidey-holes and send them to *$&%$ hell.....and Air Force One will be snake-free.....

               Dory and Nemo  Dory still has a longer memory and attention span than our current President..,,,(more buoyant, too)......and Nemo will function as the perfect Vice President by promptly getting lost.....

               For making your 2020 voting decisions easier, you're certainly welcome. Keep in mind what Baby Orange told black voters last year....."What the hell do you have to lose?"  

               Now you know(as will millions of Trumpkins when their medical bills roll in.).....so vote accordingly......

               

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