Carry On (Netflix 2024) Regular BQ visitors know how much we've carped and snarked about Netflix assembling imitation 1990's thrillers like Doc Frankenstein slapping together his monster from spare parts stolen from other bodies........
Just in time for Christmas, they finally got one right, pieced together from assorted chunks of 'Die Hard', 'Die Hard 2', 'Speed' those Liam Neeson train-plane-automobile thrillers, and even that long forgotten Johnny Depp nailbiter "Nick Of Time".
Of course, every breathless minute of it is ridiculous, over-the-top and filled with more plot holes than the moon has craters.
Who friggin' cares? It's a rollercoaster ride. Nobody gets on a looping, cork-screwing coaster for insight into the human condition.
We do it for the thrills, the wham-bams, the clock countdowns and the thwarting of the obnoxious mastermind who's tormenting our hero......
So we say, snap the safety bar down and take the ride,
Our everyday shlub who's forced to rise to the occasion is TSA slacker Ethan Kopek (Taron Egerton of "Rocketman"). He's under the gun from 'The Traveler (a finely psychotic Justin Bateman), who's out to send a carry-on packed with Russian nerve gas on to a packed flight of 250 people. Yikes.
Kopek's must tow the line or the Traveler will order up the sniper execution of his pregnant girlfriend (Sofia Carson), who's also working the airport at an airline reservation counter.
From this point everything that could possibly spiral out of control for both Kopek and his tormentor spirals out of control. And we don't mind telling you we inhaled every ludicrous minute of it.
Bateman's a hateful handful in the great tradition of 'Die Hard's Alan Rickman and Egerton executes enough sprints through the crowded LAX terminal to qualify for the next Summer Olympics.
And it's Christmastime at the airport, so everybody's pissed off even without realizing they might end up nerve-gassed to death.
Carry-On will now take its well earned honor as of our favorite Happy Holiday guilty pleasures. By all means, bring on 'Carry On II', (maybe taking place during Spring Break?)
4 stars (****).
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