Tuesday, September 10, 2024

'TWINS OF EVIL'....'CAUSE YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH PLAYBOY PLAYMATES IN A HAMMER MOVIE.....


 Twins Of Evil (1971)   By the time the '70's arrived, the Golden Age of Hammer horror began to wind down. 

         For sure, the glory days of Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee facing off to the pounding of James Bernard's music were in the rear view mirror. 

          Hammer didn't go down without a fight, though. Their new secret weapons to keep their hold on the zeitgeist:  Sex, naked babes and extra graphic gore they couldn't get away with in the 1960's. 

          You could notice the films struggling to maintain the high polish that built Hammer's reputation......especially their unique ability to make their period pieces appear lushly appointed, though shot cheaply. On the plus side, they could still draw upon the bottomless talent pool of the British acting community.

          Which is why we found the company's 1970's output a mixed bag.....a not-so-smooth blend of their old school professional polish with the exploitation tropes of grindhouse sex 'n violence bloodsoakers. 

            No better examples exist than their double-feature pairing of "Twins Of Evil " and "Hands Of The Ripper" in 1971.

             Today, we'll stick with the twins played by.....gadzooks!  Real twins, played by gorgeous Playboy cover girls, Mary and Madeline Collinson. 

              But could either of them act?  Or do anything on screen other than stand there and look stunning? 

              The answer:   Uh....well.....let's just say they came off as remarkably competent. They didn't embarrass themselves and turn the film into a campy disaster. Come to think of it, compared Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, they're Meryl Streep...doubled. 

              Back we go to those fun times in 17th century Central Europe, where the local yokels like their women extra crispy on a bonfire worthy of a frat party.  Rabid Puritan Witchhunter-in-Chief Gustav Weil (Peter Cushing, in fine form) and his loyal gang of        Weil-ees go about the countryside doing God's work -torching innocent young girls they suspect of hocus-pokery.

            Sneering and unafraid of them is depraved, debauched and dashing Count Karnstein (Damien Thomas), who prefers his hotties live and ready for Count-mounting. 

            Enter Weil's identical cutie-pie nieces Maria and Frieda (the Collinsons). Maria's a gentle sweety but wild child Frieda unwisely hangs out with the Count, who's been freshly turned into a vampire. The foolish Frieda, naturally, becomes a seductive bloodsucker after getting fanged by the Count. 

            And then, bring on the expected chaos, as Weil and company storm Castle Karnstein and poor Maria ends up scheduled as the next main attraction on the town's barbecue.

            It does sound like fun, and some of the gore is startling. The twins are indeed a dream to gaze upon and their amateur stabs at acting could've come out a lot worse, so we shouldn't complain.  Cushing's cold blooded rage and frenzy does both him and film proud and director John Hough moves things along with trim efficiency. 

            Just don't expect the glossy, classy sheen that made the Hammer Horrors of the 50's and 60's so unforgettable and iconic. In the anything-goes, free-for-all 70's, they're simply trying to stay afloat.....

          3 stars (***)

            

               

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