The X From Outer Space (1967) Considering the voluminous amount of sci-fi and-horror films I've consumed through my childhood, adolescence and so-called adulthood, how did I ever miss this gem?
After finally catching up with it (God bless you, TCM), I can see why this primo piece of lunatic Japan-o-madness became a beloved cult item......
Even if you try to compare it with the silliest, most unintentionally funny rubber monster Kaiju movies, the film so doubles down on its own craziness, it stands proud as a demented one-of-a-kind achievement......
Off we go to outer space with a Japanese-American-European crew.....their mission - check out those UFOs hangin' around Mars and see if they're up to no good.
Big shocker.....they are!
But first, our intrepid crew need a quick stop at the moonbase, no doubt for a shower and pee break. And the producers, knowing their audience consists of horny young boys from around the world, only show the cute female leads showering.
Enough frivolity.....the aliens await.....so it's to Mars we go, or at least in that general direction.
Those nefarious aliens sent out the cream of their space force, a flying pumpkin pie that glows a brighter orange than Donald Trump's face at one of his many criminal arraignments. t
After the pumpkin pie somehow coats our heroes' spaceship with fluffy spongeballs, our guys have to scrape 'em off, but not before taking a sample inside the ship.......
In the immortal words of Scooby Doo.......Ruh Roh........
The fluffy spongeball, as we all knew it would, hatches into an alien Chicken Lizard......and in no time at all, as we all knew it would, it grows to Godzilla size. This bunch's biological expertise simply didn't cover the growth cycles of alien spongeballs.
For reasons I've either blanked out of my mind or don't understand, the crew bestows a proper Kaiju name for Alien Chicken Lizard, dubbing it...Guilala. To me it sounds like a nickname for Rudy Giuliani after his hair dye dribbled through his ear and into his brain.....I'll stick with my name.
Before long, Alien Chicken-Lizard, as you knew he would, makes it back to earth with the crew. The A.C.L. then does what comes naturally to all Kaijus who lurch across the Japanese mainland......commence stepping on lots of buildings, power lines, tanks and people while belching out fiery burps to blow up overhead planes. Woo hoo!
Surprisingly, here's were the movie began to run out of steam (and goofy fun) for me. Because the monster rampage on Toys-R-Us buildings and assorted vehicles drags on and on, to the point of actual boredom. However, I couldn't stop smiling at the glories of Chicken-Lizard's head, with its two little wiry antenna and even a shower nozzle stuck on its nose.
I do love a monster whose design seems inspired by toddlers' artwork taped to the refrigerator door by their proud parents.....and what a 360 spin on the music score, which avoids ominous booms and rah-rah military marches for bouncy jazz.
And it's always a oddball treat seeing American and European actors who wandered over to Japan for one reason or another and wound up playing supporting roles the country most profitable export.....cheeseball sci-fi monster mash-ups.
So let's hear it for Mike Danning, Franz Gruber, Gunter Braun and especially for Peggy Neal, the very blonde beauty who looks like an escapee from AIP Beach Party movie. Chances are, these actors had no idea what the Japanese actors were saying to them, but they soldier on like pros.
Calling all lovers of the strangest cinema you can ever uncover......searching for bizarre cinematic treasures? Look no further..."X" marks the spot, the one from outer space, that is. 3 stars (***)
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