BQ's old enough to remember, if you can believe it, when only Hallmark was in the business of making heartwarming little Christmas romances......
And from that modest beginning, came our current situation......the explosion of literally hundreds of look-alike, sound-alike heartwarming little Christmas romances.....furiously pumped out by Hallmark, Lifetime, GAC Family Channel, networks, studios and every streaming service on the face of the planet.
Even if you gave up your job, schooling, family care-giving or whatever, stayed home and devoted 24/7 to nothing but watching Christmas movies, you'd still never see them all......
Even watching more than 2 or 3 of these per week could possibly turn your mind into the consistency of runny oatmeal......
But leave it to BQ to hit the Netflix button on the remote and plow through two of 'em back to back.....so you don't have to.
I chose Netflix for a few primary reasons.....
First, no commercials. Christmas movies tend to move at a glacial pace......and throwing commercials into the mix makes it seem like you've lived through multiple lifetimes just making it to the end of one of them. (Yes, we mean YOU, Hallmark)
Second, Netflix gives its Christmas movie suppliers a freer hand creatively, so the films aren't locked into unbreakable rules handed down as if carved in stone and brought down on tablets by Charlton Heston.....as in, "Thou shalt not do kissy-kissy until the last movie's last 20 seconds..."
So here's two for your consideration....
The Noel Diary (2022) This one surprised and perplexed me, and not in any good way.
And yet it was directed by Charles Shyer, a veteran screenwriter of big studio, high profile romantic comedies (the "Father Of The Bride" movies, "The Parent Trap" remake, etc, etc)
A bestselling novelist (Justin Hartley), finally re-connecting with his estranged dad, crosses paths with a young woman (Barrett Doss) searching for her long lost birth mother. Road trip ensues. Romance slowly blooms.....yada, yada, yada.....
A few likable things here....... including the sad, gentle-hearted dad played by James Remar, whom I mainly recall playing only psychotic villains in action movies. But the wrap-up, which should leave everyone with a wide, close-to-tearful smile is rushed, abrupt and missing a key vital scene.
Seriously? A crappy, 70's style freeze frame even before our sweethearts rush to each other for a long awaited smooch? And no reunion scene between the birth mother and daughter who's spent the whole damn movie looking for her? Huh?
These filmmakers need an emergency refresher course in Christmas Movies 101. Otherwise don't let them make another one....1 star (*).
Christmas With You (2022) Now this one's more like it. Smooth and slick, made by folks who know how to hit all the expected Christmas movie sweet spots.
It plays like a quickie knockoff of last year's Jennifer Lopez-Owen Wilson rom-com "Marry Me". Latino, pop music superstar (Aimee Garcia), fearful of her career expiration date, flees to a picture postcard suburb......and into the arms of a widowed music teacher (Freddie Prinz Jr.) and his ultra-cutesy teen daughter.
Does everyone get in touch with their inner feelings, embrace Christmas and pay no attention to the pitfalls of a match between a multi-media dynamo finding true love with sweet homebody dad and his adoring little girl?
You bet your sweet mistletoe they do.
Nothing new to report here, but face it....nobody watches Christmas romcoms (or produces them) to break new ground. There movies function in much the same way as a Hickory Farms gift box, filled with tasty cheeses and summer sausage. Yummy for your cinematic tummy.
3 & 1/2 stars (***1/2) And if the "Noel Diary" bunch ever hope to create another Christmas movie again, they'd do well to watch this one multiple times.
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