Herschel Walker loses.......Trump muttered to aides, "I tried to explain to him the definition of 'Useful Idiot', but he could never grasp the concept......he only wanted to be an idiot....period...wouldn't have had this problem if only I'd endorsed Kanye....."
Trump attempts taking back his call for dismantling the Constitution......."The biased, lamestream, left wing media blew it all out of proportion, " explained the ex-President, "I just wanted to make few alterations.....so the first line would read, 'Me, The People' and the rest of it would declare me President For Life.....the fake news made me sound like a fascist, but come to think of it, those guys knew how to get things done...."
Ex-Putin aide says Putin has an escape plan prepared if he has to flee Russia.....among the choices considered by Putin for retirement-in-exile......a customized Mar-A-Logo pool cabana, a storage closet at the International Space Station, and a small Motel 6 in the town of Fractured Knee Idaho, fully stocked with costumes left over from "The Masked Singer"
Fallen Capitol police officer's family snubs McConnell and McCarthy at Jan.6 Gold Medal Ceremony......McCarthy later remarked, "Honestly, I don't know what the officer's family is so sore about....every so often visiting tourists get a little out of hand and kill a few people.....and dying to protect us was part of his damn job anyway.....so suck it up, lady and move on...."
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