WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.......SPECIAL 'BYE BYE STEVIE' EDITION

 Steve Bannon sentenced to 4 months jail time for contempt of congress......the only good news for Bannon - he only received a $1000 fine for Contempt Of Basic Hygiene......

Trump's Special Master, Judge Dearie, keeps asking lawyers "Where's the beef?"..... Trump lawyers responded by denying rumors that Trump has stored 20,000 Wendy's Bacon-ators in Mar-A-Lago freezers in case he needs a snack......

U.S. District Court Judge alleges Trump lied in court..... What? Trump lied?........in other breaking news, the sun came up this morning and is due to set sometime later, bringing on night.........

Rep. Kevin McCarthy threatens to cut off aid to Ukraine if Republicans retake the House......prompting Vladimir Putin to promise McCarthy he'll be automatically awarded the Order Of Lenin medal for supreme service to Russia.....

Mike Pence stuns audience when questioned if he'd vote for Trump in 2024..."Well, there might be somebody I'd prefore more".....presumably meaning himself....  privately, away from the microphone, Pence admitted, "Well, honestly, I'd much prefer myself as a candidate rather than someone who sent a howling mob of fascist thugs to hang me...."

Lindsay Graham loses all his legal battles to avoid testifying in Georgia election fraud probe....in related news, paramedics were called in to use the 'Jaws Of Life' device to pry Graham's head out of Donald Trump's anal cavity......

UK paper declares a head of lettuce lasted longer than Prime Minister Liz Truss........across the pond, U.S. Republicans claim they're not worried about their own similar 'trickle down' agenda to cut taxes for the wealthy, the plan instrumental in demolishing Truss....("our lower and middle-class voters are way too stupid to realize we plan to screw 'em over....")