Wednesday, November 25, 2020

'CHRISTMAS ON THE SQUARE'.......PARTON IS SUCH SWEET SORROW......


 Christmas On The Square (Netflix-2020_    If this didn't have Dolly Parton's imprint all over it, as producer, star and songwriter, we would've thought it was an elaborate skit from the gang at Saturday Night Live........

                ......because it plays like a howlingly outrageous. over-the-top spoof of Broadway shows, TV Christmas specials, Hallmark Movies, Children's theater, and a fractured mash-up of "It's A Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Carol".

                 And it becomes funnier and funnier (and even more entertaining) when you realize that the creative team behind this was NOT kidding around.

                  We'll not question their sincerity........(otherwise, they'd have to be coldly cynical to the max if we thought they conceived this as a satirical put-down of  every Christmas movie and song we've ever encountered in our life.

                    Whatever the intentions, this movie is like no holiday offering we've seen since "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians" and the original Star Wars Holiday Special.

                  Which means it's virtually destined to takes its place as an official cult classic......... 

                  Where do we even begin here?  Director-choreographer Debbie Allen sends teams of spinning, twirling dancers across an indoor gingerbread-like replica of a cozy town square. The frenzied dancers carry on as if they're performing an excerpt from their hit show on the Tony Awards.

                  (Come to think of it, this opening number reminded us Disney's 1961 musical "Babes In Toyland"......we'll be sure to cover that one this holiday season)

                   Then Dolly drops in as an angel (and in this show, you know it's only a matter of time before she sprouts wings.)  She's there to to supervise the redemption of the heartless big biz-woman (Christine Baranski) who's evicting the entire town to make way for a giant mall. 

                  Parton's songs, filled with moral lessons, erupt in every scene and unabashed sentiment flows through the entire show like a chocolate fountain that's exploded even more than Vesuvius........

                   We can't even bring ourselves to describe the final plot revelations........it's much better if you watch it with dropped jaw, like we did.....

                   It's impossible to rate something like "Christmas On The Square" based on its individual merits. This film is......how can we put it......a unique experience all its own.

                   You'll either find it so overwrought, riotously campy and nonsensical that you'll flee after the first few minutes.

                   Or you'll stay to enjoy it as the Guiltiest Pleasure Ever, savoring and reveling in the sheer audacious showmanship on display.

                  To be honest, we count ourselves among the latter......so we stayed. And we'll salute Dolly Parton for creating the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' of Christmas movies.  That takes a special kind of fearlessness and pure pizazz. 

                   3 stars (***) We can guarantee you won't see anything like it this holiday season.

                  

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