With the blight of Baby Orange, infecting America and the world like a festering plague.......normality and sanity just ain't in the cards anymore........
No President other than Baby Orange ever called the families of the fallen...".believe me. And believe me......the Zombie Apocalypse is coming, let me tell you. Obama wasn't prepared for it, but I am.....believe me....."
Baby Orange tells grieving widow of a fallen soldier, "He knew what he signed up for..." We guess the poor woman is lucky he didn't finish the phone call with his sign-of to Puerto Ricans..."have a good time!"......not to worry....Air Force One has been dispatched to drop a roll of paper towels over her house....
Speaking of "He knew what he signed up for..." Excellent question for the Trumpanzee MAGA redhats.....is this what you signed up for??? Seriously?
Baby Orange promises $25,000 to Gold Star father........the check really was in the mail.....but the at the last minute, funds were more urgently needed to pay for Mike Pence's leave-in-a-huff exit from a football game......The check is on its way.....inserted somewhere in the Publisher's Clearing House mailer....
"I have proof" Baby Orange does indeed have indisputable proof of every claim he makes....(including photos of Barak Obama crawling underneath the Oval Office desk to plant microphones and a whoopee cushion in the chair...) These documents and transcripts are stored in a vast warehouse that also contains the Ark Of The Covenant, photos of thousand of New Jersey Muslims celebrating 9-11....and Baby Orange's tax returns. Location? None of your business.
Baby Orange invokes John Kelly's fallen son to take a swipe at Obama......and congratulates himself for a unique, singular achievement......the first President in history to drag a dead soldier out of his grave to use as a political weapon against someone the Prez doesn't like......what courage....what innovation.
And before we go......let's dig up the dirt in the garden to watch one more slug ooze around......
Jabba The Movie Mogul Goes to Rehab.......Reality Check: No amount of basking in the Arizona sunshine and hearing therapists gently murmur that waving your dick in front of pretty starlets is a no-no will ever cure Jabba The Weinstein. We prescribe the following therapies for Jabba......for not only healing him, but to offer some amount of closure for his many victims as well.....
1. A running belly-up leap on to a pre-soaked slip -n slide mat placed perpendicular to one of the walkways overlooking the Grand Canyon....
2, A lengthy stay among a state or Federal prison's general population.......where Jabba can share a cell with a 310 pound ex-biker who'll smile as he tells Jabba, "You gonna be my own little Gwyenth Paltrow...."
3. A all-expenses paid flight to North Korea......and handed over to the tender loving care of a prison Medical team skilled in the treatment of....uh....botulism....
Enough madness and misery for one day. Read a good book.....enjoy a favorite film. That's our prescription.....
No comments:
Post a Comment