WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP......SPECIAL "ESCALATORGATE! TELEPROMPTERGATE! AUDIOGATE!' EDITION......

 

Trump's address to the U.N. sets all new record for the most deranged, idiotic and psychotic rant he's ever delivered in public......at least until his next one.....In a strongly worded letter to the U.N. Secretary General, delegates demanded sound baffling ear plugs and vomit bags for the next time Trump appears to speak...

Trump rages at the U.N., demanding investigations into a malfunctioning escalator, teleprompter and audio system......Attorney Pam Bondi declares she's in possession of evidence leading to Hunter Biden, Taylor Swift and Jimmy Kimmel conspiring with the U.N. to sabotage all the devices in the U.N., including coffeemakers and towel dispensers....

Trump rages non-stop, repeatedly spouting the dubious claim that pregnant women taking Tylenol will produce autistic babies....along side his health services czar, RFK Jr. (a.k.a. "Dr. Brainworm".).....("And many people are telling me they've heard millions of bottles of Tylenol were secretly opened, drenched in spit from autistic babies throw-up, and put back on drug store shelves by James Comey, AOC, Hilary Clinton and Jimmy Kimmel...we're having Pam Bondi and Kash Patel look into it...."

FCC Chairman Brendan Carr issues stern warning to all television comedians, pundits and journalists who dare say unflattering things about Donald Trump.....("Just remember we have the routes your kids take home from school and we know where all your elderly parents and grandparents live.....it would be ashamed if anything should happen to 'em, ya know?  Just sayin'....word to the wise if ya know what I mean...").

Trump's revenge tour grinds on with his legally flimsy indictment of former FBI director James Comey......("If we can't indict him for lying to Congress, I've heard from many people that there's hard evidence he pulled off one of those "Do not remove under penalty of law" tags from a mattress....if that turns out true, I'll instruct the DOJ to seek the death penalty....")

To all "But I didn't vote for this!" Trump voters: How are those egg prices comin'?

To all Trump voters who did vote for this: Listen to his U.N. speech again. And pray for forgiveness for the plague you've unleashed upon your country and the world.

To everyone else: Great weekend to all! See you next week!