'AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM'......WASHED UP FROM THE BEACH.....OR A LIBRARY DVD SALE.....

 Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)

     We never planned to waste our time reviewing this already long forgotten DC Comics 300 million dollar CGI-fest........but, as fate would have it, we stumbled upon it in a library book sale that included DVDs.....

     So here we are.....and here we go.

     Watching this bloated seafood buffet, we could easily understand how films like this contributed to superhero burnout for the multiplex crowds. 

      In a few words.....same old, same old, blah blah blah, yada yada yada......We couldn't help wondering if any of the actors or filmmakers involved in this stayed awake. Only the CGI hordes put their backs into it.....but more on them later. 

       The film never finds a consistent tone as it wanders from comic book pomposity to exhausted imitations of  Marvel meta-snark to clockwork false attempts at emotional resonance. 

        Jason Momoa, if nothing else a good sport, plays Aquaman as if he's appearing in an 'Aquaman' skit on Saturday Night Live, or doing a comedy bit on the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards. Funny for a minute or two, but the movie runs  2 hours....

         But here's one bright positive thing we can say....

          As worthless as the film is, it's a gorgeous, colorful feast-for-the-eyes to gaze upon. 

           Those literally hundreds upon hundreds of digital artists dipped fully into their pixel paint boxes to create mythical underwater landscapes and creatures that can take your breath away. A whole lot of their stuff could be framed and sold at art galleries. 

           And director James Wan wisely ditched widescreen compositions to emphasize the depth and height of the visuals, rather than the width. 

           For us that's the singular component that made the film at all watchable. We did indeed stay with it for its dazzling sights while ignoring the usual superhero-comic book rubbish....(by that we mean the plot, characters and the acting.

          Few other things we liked....Topo, the steadfast octopus sidekick, Kingfish, a garrulous Jabba-the-Fish creation riotously voiced by Martin Short, and the cranky plus sized Lobster, forever bitching about his amputated claw.

         All the rest of it?  Nothing but generic superhero goulash, reheated too many times for anybody to care. 

         1 & 1/2 stars (* 1/2), solely for all the pretty pictures of the kingdoms of glub glub glub.....