Wednesday, July 31, 2024

THE RETRO SUPERHERO GUYS, PART 3......ALEC BALDWIN KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF MEN...(BWAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!


 The Shadow (1994)   Continuing our 1990's tour of Hollywood's  1930's superguys, we come to another colorful, entertaining entry.....maybe not as practically-perfect-in-every-way as "The Rocketeer", but still loads of fun to watch and re-watch. 

         (Interesting to note: that all four of the films in this line-up, 'Dick Tracy', 'The Rocketeer', 'The Shadow' and 'The Phantom' were designed, of course, to kick off a franchise 'tentpole' series. While none of them generated the kind of blockbuster box-office required for that to happen, these one-and-done single entries make for one joyful collection......a true snapshot of summer movies before the new Millenium.

'The Shadow', born out of pulp magazines and a hugely popular radio show, was Lamont Cranston,(Alec Baldwin) who learned the secrets of the Mysterious East to acquire his particular powers.....the ability to 'cloud men's minds', render himself invisible and pop up when evil-doers least expect him. 

           To the wonderful, thumping Jerry Goldsmith score, his backstory unfolds....drifting through the Orient as a thuggish warlord, Cranston's seized by a holy man and turned to a righteous path....but only after he's thoroughly humiliated by 'The Phurba', a magical flying dagger with a pissed-off, razor-toothed entity built into the hilt. 

            Then we're back in New York where Cranston lives the life of a dashing playboy while secretly tormenting gangsters as the black-hatted, hook-nosed, ever cackling Shadow.

             Our hero soon finds himself up against a formidable enemy, Genghis Kahn descendent Shiwan Khan (John Lone), who's somehow resurrected himself to seek world domination. And prominent in his plans - forcing an esteemed scientist (Ian McKellan) to make him an atomic bomb. 

              Let the super-heroics commence.....which they do indeed with the help of a terrific supporting cast....Penelope Ann Miller as a dressed-to-the-nines socialite, Tim Curry as a slimy minion, Peter Boyle as cabby ally of The Shadow, Jonathon Winters as Cranston's disapproving uncle and police commissioner and naturally, the immortal James Hong turns up in the China prologue.

               Maybe none of it quite hangs together as a cohesive story but we always have a great time coming back to it.  Baldwin, still in leading man mode before he transitioned to a far more successful career as a character actor, provides the appropriate dash. His  encounters with Lone, as the imperious but sometimes chatty Khan are a surprising, witty delight.  (Khan: "Your mind is like an open book to me."  Cranston: "Then learn how to read....")

             Critics weren't too kind to 'The Shadow' when it opened and the hordes of ticket buyers the studio expected never materialized. But 30 years after it release, BQ's still likin' a lot as a perfect lighter-than-air junky summer movie. 

              Perfect with a cool drink and a bucket 'o hot buttered popcorn.....which you'll have to cook yourself.  Remember what the Shadow intones...."the weeds of crime bear bitter fruit.." 4 stars (****).

Tuesday, July 30, 2024

'X FILES: PERIHELION.....OUR FAVORITE SPECIAL AGENTS, BACK ON THE CASES...

  X Files: Perihelion by Claudia Gray  (2024)

      Here's a book that millions of X Files fans will thrill to immerse themselves in. I know I certainly did..


        I'm not sure how to diplomatically discuss any details here since the story is steeped deep into the entire X Files mythology and backstories of all the previous seasons. But I feel comfortable in revealing that FBI Special Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are still in pursuit in finding out the Truth That's Out There and as always, they should Trust No One.


       Somehow, they're back on the job, made doubly perilous by their being blessed with Scully's miraculous pregnancy. And they're faced with multiple formidable threats at the same time = a serial killer/monster-of-the-week who's targeting pregnant women, an assassin who can literally go up in smoke and back again, and a new iteration of their worst global conspiracy enemies.


      Author Claudia Gray makes superb use of the novel form in the ability to lay out a fully detailed picture of Mulder and Scully's tortured pasts that lead them to their current adventures. X-Filers who've always wanted an articulate presentation of their unseen, unspoken private lives and inner thoughts will find a true bounty here.


       I wouldn't dream of revealing anything else, except to say I couldn't have enjoyed this book more and look forward to author Gray continuing on with more. 5 stars (*****)

Monday, July 29, 2024

THE RETRO SUPERHERO GUYS, PART 2... 'THE ROCKETEER'......DISNEY BLASTS OFF INTO PRE-WORLD WAR 2 HOLLYWOOD!


The Rocketeer (1991)   Since we've at long last put that soul sucking Flu bug in the rear view mirror, we couldn't wait to continue this series we started a few weeks ago with Warren Beatty's 1990 Dick Tracy.

        This one may be our favorite of the batch, a film we don't mind re-watching every so often. 

        Based on a graphic novel and directed by Joe Johnston, it's a perfectly conceived, delightful action-adventure steeped in late 1930's, early 40's Hollywood culture and lore. 

         We loved everything thrown into the mix here......the atmosphere, the large cast of memorable character actors, and the spectacular heroics that stir up just the right blend of action and comedy.  Throw in the clever, sly referencing of real Hollywood people, places and ambiance, and you've got a triple Sundae dessert of a movie.

         And at no time, unlike the Marvel Universe, do you feel like the movie is pounding you into jello with endless repetitive CGI battles that in the long run, signify and mean nothing. You don't have to sit through a 15 minute credit crawl after a 3 hour running time to wait for a teaser that tells you that the film you just endured was nothing but a really long trailer for the next one. 

          The film commences to a warm, piano-based main theme by James Horner, producing a score filled with period nostalgia and when needed, epic bombast. 

            Daredevil pilot Cliff (Billy Campbell) has the bad luck to barely survive the flight of his new test plane as it collides with a furious FBI chase of gangsters who've stolen valuable equipment from aviation magnate Howard Hughes (Terry O' Qunn). 

             What they've stolen is nothing less than Hughes' jet-propelled backpack to strap to its user's back so he can blast off and go soaring into the sky like Superman.  And they ditched it where Cliff and his loyal mechanic fixer Peevey (Alan Arkin) stumble upon it. 

             The fearless Cliff gives the gadget a funny chaotic tryout at the Flying Circus where he performs aerial stunts.  Then the newly dubbed 'Rocketeer' finds himself now in the crosshairs of whole host of colorful villains. These include the dapper gangster Eddie Valentine (Paul Sorvino) whose attempt to steal the jetpack was ordered up by the Errol Flynn-ish Hollywood swashbuckler Neville Sinclair (Timothy Dalton, enjoying his villainy)  But patriotic thug Eddie doesn't realize that Sinclair is a Nazi spy who hopes to arm Hitler's armies to squadrons of death-dealing rocketeers.

              There's nothing we didn't adore about this movie. Snappy dialogue, propulsive action and richly designed evocations of a bygone era. Cinema buffs will smile wide at Neville Sinclair's chief minion, whose makeup design duplicates the real life, physically afflicted horror star Rondo Hatton. 

              On the basis of his work on this film, director Johnston went on apply his talent for period nostalgia to Captain America: The First Avenger (2011).

            Even if superhero fatigue has left you nauseous at the thought of sitting through any more, BQ highly recommends you check out this one. Before Disney ever went into the Marvel business, all by themselves they produced "The Rocketeer", a fun film that flies higher than any Avenger. 5 stars (*****)

             

Wednesday, July 24, 2024

SORRY BQ VISITORS......WE'RE UNDER ATTACK BY THE BUG.....

 

So sorry to report that BQ is currently battling an obnoxious stubborn flu bug (no COVID, thankfully).....and the cursed thing is dedicated to making our life miserable 24/7......

.......haven't been able to post since the bug's zapped our energy quotient down to can't-get-out-of bed' levels, but we promise to crush this little bastard into oblivion so we can can get back to giving you all kinds of movie, book and TV reviews....

         In the meantime, by all means, catch up and enjoy the hundreds and hundreds of posts we've left on the site since 2016.

           Stay happy, healthy and hope to be back with you soon!

                          The Beached Quill.

Tuesday, July 23, 2024

'EXES & FOES.....TWO ESTRANGED BFFS VIE FOR THE HEART OF THE NEW GIRL AT SCHOOL

  Exes & Foes by Amanda Woody (2024)

          Even if the journey of the love story here is as inevitable as the sun coming up each morning, you won't find a sweeter, more heartfelt YA romantic triangle. It's loaded with hugs, tears, long overdue emotional showdowns and a sigh-worthy ending you can't wait to wallow in even if you knew it was coming all along.

         Caleb and Emma, were lifelong best friends until something dire and unspoken split them apart in 8th grade. But yet their undeniable attraction and unspoken love for each other has continued to make them battling frenemies through high school . Caleb, gentle, gangly and easily bullied, still finds himself often protected by the feistly, hot tempered Emma, whose reputation for not suffering fools (and bullies) gladly lands her in trouble over and over. Each of them copes with their separate parental woes....Caleb, from his indifferent divorced dad who can barely spare the time to meet him and Emma from her toxic mother, who's spent a lifetime belittling and denigrating her.

         Now a new complication comes between them - they've both fallen hard for Juliet, the  new girl in school who's so adorable, she's impossible to resist. 

         They agree to engage in an all out competition for Juliet's heart, with the winner declared as the first one who kisses her. And the race is on, with no quarter given.

         The ongoing drama in Caleb and Emma's home life throws all kinds of bumps in the road for them, so readers should be prepared for multiple tender, heart rending moments, right up through the final pages. No real surprises here, but if you can't resist a book that literally envelopes you with warm, fuzzy feelings, look no further.  

          4 stars (****)

'NO ROAD HOME'....A DYNASTY OF BIBLE THUMPERS, HEADED TOWARD RETRIBUTION....

 No Road Home by John Fram (2024)

      What a twelve course meal this book serves up......

        'No Road Home' operates on so many multiple levels, my head was spinning. There's grand Gothic horror, there's an intricate 'locked room' whodunit that's enough to a make a Dame Agatha book read like "Goodnight Moon'. And finally, there's a torrential rain storm hovering over the Versailles-sized mansion of the televangelist Wrignt family dynasty..........a poisonous Addams Family collection of grifters, lunatics and psychotic pederasts. The horrorshow Wrights are nothing but a litany of wrongs

          Hurled into this cauldron is Toby Tucker, who unwisely entered into a marriage of convenience with one of the Wrights to assure a financially comfortable future for Luca, his sensitive queer little boy. After the murder of the family Patriarch, it doesn't take long for Toby to realize how much danger he's placed himself and Luca in. He's overwhelmed by the depths of the family's crimes and perversions and this hissing nest of vipers has ominous plans for Luca that Toby realizes will destroy the child.

         If that isn't enough going on, somebody (human or other-worldly) . is using red paint to smear foul, threatening messages that promise bloody, Biblical revenge and retribution on the Wrights for their multitude of sins.

        The rain keeps pounding as Toby and Luca try to desperately find their way out of both the labyrinth of the vast house itself and the tangled web of the family's schemes they're trapped in. And all the while, Luca's bonded with a.....well, let's just say someone who's pivotal to what's going on.....
  '
         Quite a wild ride from beginning to end, with a climax that rivals Stephen King in finishing off things with a bizarre satisfying spectacle. I love how this book just went for it fully, throwing everything in one huge package. Definitely a 'Don't Miss for this year's thrillers.

        5 stars (*****)

      

Friday, July 19, 2024

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.....SPECIAL "AMERICA, TEMPLE OF DOOM" EDITION.......


GOP cultists coronate Donald Trump as their Presidential candidate....Millions take a moment of silence to mourn the possible end of the United States Of America....Trump's doctor replaces his ear bandage with a gift shop copies of the Declaration of Independence, the Bill Of Rights and the Constitution......

Trump selects J.D. Vance, former Trump hater turned Kool-Aid drinking MAGA Zombie, as his running mate......and announces that unlike Mike Pence, he would have stopped the certification of Biden's election....("You're damned tootin' I would! Nobody's hangin' this
 hillbilly!")

Judge Aileen Cannon, dismisses the Mar-A-Lago stolen documents case against Trump......in exchange for a larger RV than Clarence Thomas and Ginni's, a Supreme Court appointment and a personally autographed Trump Bible......


Trump, who promised a 'unifying' convention acceptance speech, delivers a rambling 93 minute address stuffed with the usual lies and gibberish, causing even convention Trumpanzees to start checking their phones while he droned on.....6 Pharmacutical companies applied recordings of Trump's speech to the FDA for consideration as a new sleep aid.....
J.D. Vance promises a nationwide abortion ban, with no exceptions for rape and incest......(said the new GOP Vice Presidential candidate, "It's high time we forced women and little girls to do what the Good Lord Almighty intended...stay home and make babies, even if it kills 'em...and if they try to make a break for it, by God, we'll hunt em down!"























Thursday, July 18, 2024

'LONGLEGS'.....ARTFUL HORROR UNDONE BY THE ALWAYS RAMPAGIN' CAGE.....


 Longlegs (2024)    Let's get right to question you want answered.

          Is it worth the hype lavished on it?

          Does it really justify reviewers and bloggers falling over themselves calling it 'the scariest movie you'll ever see...blah, blah, blah....."

           Breaking BQ news:  A big NO to the hype. 

           True, it's moody and gloomy as hell.  You can practically cut the overall feeling of dread with a knife. And more than few characters end up sliced and diced with actual sharp objects.

          Director Oz Perkins (son of late "Psycho" actor Anthony) has already carved out something of a reputation as a purveyor of High Art Horror. ("Gretel & Hansel", "I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In the House").

          Yes, he's got an unerring eye for visuals and individual scenes that slowly but surely make your skin crawl......

          But in this film, all of Perkins' considerable talent can't overcome two major flaws.....

           His climactic ending manages to come across as both obvious, unsurprising and yet fuzzy and confusing in explaining its own mythology. 

            Even worse, a typical bonkers performance by Nicolas Cage replaces the arthouse tropes with an off-the-rails vibe of a carnival freakshow.  While Perkins' direction creates a suffocating atmosphere of impending doom, Cage's take-no-prisoners Booga-Booga Halloween party performance does more to enhance his own legendary weird filmography than do this film any good. 

            Through most of its running time, the film wisely rations out glimpses of Cage as 'Longlegs', the titular, serial killer monster. From what little we see, the actor's barely recognizable. His mournful, hound dog face stays buried under mountains of rubberized makeup and he cavorts like a nightmare version of the much mocked falsetto singer Tiny Tim. 

              Longlegs M.O. for wiping out entire families involves somehow mesmerizing one family member to slaughter everybody else in the house, before committing suicide themselves.

              How he accomplishes that is what's tormenting an FBI chief (Blair Underwood) and his high strung deer-in-the-headlights Special Agent Lee Harker (Maika Monroe, the go-to horror ingenue).

             Harker's already traumatized by her apparent psychic connection to Longlegs, as well her unsettled relationship with her decidedly odd mother (Alicia Witt).  There's backstories to reveal here, which the film finally lays out in methodical, inevitable fashion. 

             Which brings us to the getta-load-of-me Cage giving us the full unadulterated Satan worshipping Longlegs.  For those unsure if that's really him under all the facial sludge, you can at last identify and detect the actor in that that familiar, mad glint of his eyes. 

              Even with its connect-every-dot ending, 'Longlegs' is content to stay maddingly obtuse about how Cage untethers victims from their sanity...... we can only surmise they're entranced and seduced by Longlegs' boss, whom he refers to as 'the man downstairs'.   (Satan? Donald Trump?)

             Do not fall for reviews describing this film as some kind of wild, thrill-a-minute, scare-you-to-death, funhouse ride. The only jump scares come the sudden, loud eruption of music chords. 

             For the first two thirds, you'll view a well crafted example of Elevated Arthouse horror.  The finale?  It's a Nic Cage Krazytown jamboree. 2 stars (**).

              

            

Wednesday, July 17, 2024

'ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY'....ON A DARK STORMY NIGHT, A YOUNG MAID'S IMPERILED BY THE HOTEL'S MURDEROUS FAMILY...

  One Big Happy Family by Jamie Day (2024)

     It was a dark and stormy night........

     And an especially eventful night at the picturesque Maine hotel, The Precipice. As the name implies, the place sits on a seaside cliff,, overlooking a lethal drop into the crashing waves below. There's more wave crashing than usual tonight in the midst of a raging hurricane that's washed out the roads and left everyone in the hotel stranded there, guests and staff alike.

      What a night for a reading of the last will and testament of George Bishop, the odious owner who spent most of his time sexually harassing our narrator, young Charley Kelley, the hotel's sole full time maid. Also in attendance are George's spawn - sisters Vicki, Faith and Iris, a dysfunctional trio from hell, each holding on to backstories chock full of dark secrets, separately and together.

     Excess baggage includes an imperious woman lawyer to read the will, Vicki's repulsive obnoxious husband, Todd, their grown son Quinn and Oliver, the weird little teen son of Faith and her partner Hope. A hidden guest unbeknownst to all of them except Charley, is Bree, a desperate young woman on the run from an abusive boyfriend.. Soft-hearted Charley moves Bree from room to room while the nest of Bishop vipers hurl long simmering contempt for each other.

     The storm howls. The lights go and off. Threatening messages start popping up. Could it be that some folks among this group won't make it through the night upright and breathing?

     What could possibly go wrong? (Feel free to insert a long evil Bwaa-haa-haa laugh here....)

     Author Jamie Day obviously had a terrific time nailing down every single 'locked-room' murder mystery trope. I don't think there's a single one left out and the fun of seeing them all in play once again is contagious. The only thing missing from the apparent endless, regularly scheduled revelations is hearing an orchestra launch into one of those 'Dum-dum Dummmmmmm!' crescendos every time a twist is revealed.

     More than once I was thinking that this book piles on so many of these homages that it borders on sly parody. But then again, author Day takes the time to vividly portray each of these characters, bringing all of them to life, both the hateful ones and ones to root for, like Charley. Even when its plot complications start to resemble a 'Saturday Night Live' skit on murder mysteries, 'One Big Happy Family' never seems less than fully committed to its genre.

     I had such a good time with this, I didn't even mind the blatant shamelessness of the book's epilogue, tying up every little thing with pretty little bows. If the mission was to give a mystery buff a breezy good time, then mission accomplished.   4 stars (****)  (For a really immersive experience, wait a night of howling thunderstorms to crack this one open.....)

















   


Tuesday, July 16, 2024

'SHADES OF MERCY'....DRUG LORDS 'N HACKERS 'N SPIES, OH MY......

  Shades Of Mercy by Bruce Borgos (2024)

     I was unabashed in my praise of "The Bitter Past", the first book in a series about Nevada Sheriff Porter Beck and that goes double for this one.

     Sheriff Beck may be an aging Army veteran with failing night vision, but he's fearless, intuitive and relentless as Jack Reacher when it comes to sniffing out and hunting down villainous, violent conspirators.

     And as fate would have it, the vast arid Nevada desert that he and a mere handful of Deputies patrol invariably attracts a mixture of both homegrown and global evil. This new case finds him pitted against no less than a cartel drug lord's flooding the county with lethal fentanyl laced opioids and Chinese spies plotting all out cyber war on America.

     Somehow, smack in the middle of all these nefarious goings-on is Mercy Vaughn, a mysterious teen girl incarcerated in a desert juvenile facility. She happens to possess the kind of computer hacking skills that somebody's been using to remotely hijack and pilot armed Air Force drones, which brings her to Porter Beck's attention. Though Mercy's cut off from using computers, the Sheriff instinctively knows she's anything but what she seems but so does a ruthless Chinese spy who's on the hunt for her.

     That's as much as I'd dare reveal because the book then proceeds to unload a hold-on-to-your-seats ride of suspense, surprises and brutal action. that never lets up, much like Sheriff Beck never lets up until things are put right and the various perpetrators get some good old fashioned Nevada justice.....no matter what their country of origin.

     Loved this book and count me in as first in line whenever Porter Beck's up against a new slew of malefactors straight out of Miami Vice and James Bond. Put it high on any 'don't miss' thriller list this year. 5 stars (*****)  (Chances are, you'll want to immediately catch up with the first book in the series, if you haven't done so already....)











Monday, July 15, 2024

'MAXXXINE'.....TI WEST'S MANIC PIXIE NIGHTMARE GIRL BREAKS FREE OF HER PORN IDENTITY.....


MaXXXine (2024)......completes a trilogy of films begun by horror writer-director Ti West and his one-of-a-kind muse, actress Mia Goth.

          For us, Goth evokes memories of Mimsy Farmer, the pale, thin blonder-than blonde ingenue of the late 60's and 70's. Farmer briefly wandered through American exploitation movies before settling in for a longer stay in Euro-trash Giallos.....("Autopsy", "Four Flies On Grey Velvet"...)

         Their main difference.......Farmer was no actress and her attempts at over-the-top emotions (fear, hysteria, rage) were.....uh.....at least fascinating to watch.

         Mia Goth, on the other hand, is the real deal. She's Bette Davis and Joan Crawford piled into the frame of a wispy blonde pixie......she can go from achingly sweet and vulnerable to cold-hearted horror, sometimes within the same shot. 

         So it's no wonder Ti West put her front and center in 2022's "X" and "Pearl", his artfully bloodsoaked homages to 1970's Texas Chainsaw slashers. In the third film, West and Goth continue the saga of porn star Maxine Minx,who survived the carnage of "X" to pursue her dreams of stardom in 1980's Hollywood.

        For those of us who remember this 'Be Kind Rewind' era well, 'MaXXXine' spreads out an ambitious, depraved hellscape of the seediest, most porn-drenched mean streets of L.A.

        But the single-minded, relentless Maxine has managed to break out of porn films by snagging a role in 'The Puritan II', a highly anticipated sequel to a hit slasher film.  With stardom almost within her grasp, her bizarre, disturbing past of 'X' comes back to torment her with a vengeance. It first arrives in the form of a sleazy P.I. (Kevin Bacon, practically oozing slime out of his pores). 

          Bacon's representing a black leather clad mystery creep who's taken to slaughtering Maxine's friends .....and who may or may not be the infamous, real life 'Hillside Strangler'.  And before everything and everyone's all sorted out, the blood 'n gore flow freely. And Maxine proves, as if we didn't know, that's she's nobody to **** with.

          The movie's overly busy attempts to replicate all the touchstones of its era tends to dilute the undeniable charisma of Goth's character.  This actress commands the screen. You can't take your eyes off her, which is more we can say for the movie whenever it veers into scenes designed to categorize it as 'elevated horror'. 

          The hell with 'elevated. Mamma Mia....give us more Goth. (And special note to encyclopedic film buffs.....is it just us or is that final shot a loving tribute to Bert I. Gordon's 'Tormented' along with Mimsy Farmer's climactic moment in 'Four Flies'....?

          3 stars (***).  Horror homies, check it out beyond doubt. 

         

          

Friday, July 12, 2024

WEEKEND MADNESS WRAP-UP.....SPECIAL 'VICE PRESIDENT TRUMP' EDITION......

 

Trump distances himself from the frightening 'Project 2024' manifesto, even though it was cobbled together by his own minion Trumpanzees......"Never heard of it," the ex-Presidents tells reporters, "and between you and me, they left out the clause I recommended about offering a $50,000 bounty on Jack Smith and Stormy Daniels heads."

Trump mocks Biden's public gaffes, while his own rally rants, filled with wandering random, off-the-rails babbling, grow worse each day......."Listen, the American people know I'm the only candidate who's capable of making a rational choice between frying alive in an electric boat or getting eaten by a shark...."

Biden insists he won't drop out, even after referring to Ukraine's President Zelensky as 'President Trump' and his V.P. Kamala Harris as 'Vice President Trump'........Hunter Biden, hoping to allay fears about his father's cognitive decline, reiterates that his dad calls him 'Don Jr.' only when he misses his long afternoon nap.....

Trump's lawyers request that his conviction on 34 counts of fraud be thrown out after the Supreme Court's immunity ruling.....and immediately deny that Trump pitched a new reality show to network executives - '5th Avenue 'Eff 'em Up', in which Trump hunts down opponents on 5th Avenue in New York.....with live ammuntion....
















Thursday, July 11, 2024

'THE BEAR - SEASON 3'.....WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SHOW CREATORS ABSORB TOO MUCH PRAISE....

 The Bear - Season 3 (FX-Hulu - streaming)

     Like millions of others, we finally succumbed to the heaping gobs of overwhelming praise lavished on this series about chefs struggling to run Chicago restaurant. 

      We came late to the party, but after binging Seasons 1 and 2, we found the hype was more than justified. 

        This show was the real thing......bristling with actors at the top of their game tearing into scenes and situations with a fury we hadn't enjoyed for a long time. 

         No wonder everybody was crazy about it. 

         But after two explosively entertaining seasons, you know who read too much into all the hype?  The show's creator and writer-director, Christopher Storer.

         We can only assume the  'The Bear's hitting the pop culture zeitgeist like a nuclear detonation resulted in pumping up Storer's ego to Hindenburg size. 

          That's the only explanation we can come up with to explain the maddening, self-indulgent excesses if Season 3.....10 episodes that play out as if deliberately crafted to aggravate, antagonize and exhaust the good will of viewers accumulated by the previous seasons. 

          Storer made the ruinous choice to throw propulsive storytelling out the window and concentrate solely on individual episodes  devoted solely to character development.   Each of these episodes unfolds as a wearying slog, force feeding an audience a mini film festival culture vulture ordeal  Punishing close-ups....no pacing whatsoever and rubbing our noses in the characters' worst traits.

         Evidently, nobody dared tell Storer that it would be possible to continue to tell the story and deepen the characters all at the same time. 

          We won't deny, however, that there's individual moments where the actors get to break free of the torpor and strut their stuff. But you could count those moments on the fingers of one hand. 

          A damn shame, this. 1 & 1/2 stars (*1/2).

         But for a show like this that started off on fire, hope springs yada yada yada.......we await a Season 4 that will get back on the rails at the bullet train speed it started off with. 

         BQ quick memo to Christopher Storer......even if takes major surgery, get your head out of your ass and  your shit together.  





Wednesday, July 10, 2024

'BLOOD & MASCARA'....A MODERN DAY NOIR SINKS IN ITS OWN VERBAL QUICKSAND

  Blood & Mascara by Colin Krainin (2024)

       Initially, I couldn't wait to plunge into this one. How could I not? What a grabber of a title. A modern day private eye noir with an emotionally broken detective navigating his way through a tangled web of D.C. political corruption leading to murder.....yes please. And on top of all that, throw in a drop dead gorgeous woman in peril and an international assassin who's making people drop dead for real........you had me at "drop=dead=gorgeous-woman-in -peril......
.
       But what a crushing disappointment this book turned out to be.

        All of those surefire elements tossed into the mix sank like heavy stones, gurgling for air as  they drowned in author Colin Krainin's quicksand of impenetrable literary fiction prose.
As much as the story and the characters intrigued me, I must have reached the bail-out point at least a dozen or more times. Was this a genuine mystery-action thriller or some graduate student M.F.A. creative writing thesis masquerading as one? I wasn't sure until the final chapters, when at long last, the book curbed its appetite for molasses-thick internal monologuing and finally swung into its ultra-violent finale.

        But even when the book erupts into a Quentin Tarantino-like display of graphic gore, it still can't resist some characters delivering speeches so blatantly overwritten, you can practically hear the author typing in the next room.

       I realize that hardcore mystery thriller fans might be willing to wade through all the ornate blah-blah-blah to reach those final chapters.. I know I did. The characters were well drawn and when allowed to breathe free at the end, the story gripped me. But given what a reader has to endure here, I'm still wondering if it was worth the time spent.   2 stars (**).  SQ's advice - there's far better thrillers out there this summer.......



Tuesday, July 9, 2024

'LENNY MARKS GETS AWAY WITH MURDER'....AN UNUSUAL SCHOOLTEACHER CONFRONTS THE TERRORS OF HER CHILDHOOD

  Lenny Marks Gets Away with Murder by Kerryn Mayne (2024)

        While the title might promise a thriller, I'd consider this book more of a heartfelt journey out of terrible darkness for its title character. By the time neurodivergant schoolteacher Lenny Marks reaches a reckoning with the horrors of her past, readers will have already fallen for her and be cheering her on.

        Lenny (who prefers that name to her given one, Helena), survived a childhood so traumatic, it's warped her memories of it. In addition to her viewing the world from a distance in a methodical, precise way, her horrific past has rendered her even more cut off from people and human contact. But yet she's willing to struggle to establish friendships with her school associates and the manager of her favorite grocery store, a painfully awkward process for her. And then her world upends with a single, piece of news related to the nightmarish childhood she'd mostly suppressed up to this point, with only three words staying with her...."you did this'. The past is coming back for her, daring her to survive it again.

        The story becomes sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes harrowing and yes even humorous in the ways Lenny copes with the world at large. And I was riveted to the pages as she overcomes her fears, wrestles with her demons, and deals with stunning surprises as the reality of what she endured finally comes into sharp focus. Lenny Marks proves a force to be reckoned with and takes readers right along with her., which is why I found myself racing to reach the final chapters.

       Not a thrill ride, by any means, but you'll want to experience the emotional impact of a main character who's determined to end up as the hero of her own story........which, by the way is a 5 star read.  (*****)


'THE UNRAVELING'....A FOOLHARDY PSYCHIATRIST'S NEW PATIENT.....THE GUY SHE'S BEEN STALKING...

  The Unraveling by Vi Keeland (2024)

        Oh boy, did I have fun with this one. For me, it evoked all those domestic psychological thrillers that permeated movie theaters throughout the 1990's.......and I could never get enough of them. Usually they involved some esteemed professional (doctor, lawyer, professor, etc. etc.) who makes one reckless decision after another, putting them in terrible danger and even under suspicion by skeptical police detectives. Of course, twists abound and nobody's what they seem.

        So here we have a widowed New York City psychiatrist, Dr. Meredith McCall, suffering under a crushing burden of guilt. Her NHL hockey star husband died in a car accident while under the influence of massive Opioid doses he obtained by swiping her prescription pads. His car plowed into a a young mother and her little girl, killing them instantly, leaving Gabriel Wright grieving for his perished family.

       But how grieving is he exactly.? When she does come across him, Meredith wonders why he seems not quite overcome with melancholy and takes to obsessively stalking him. Imagine her stunned surprise when one day Gabriel walks into her office as a new patient seeking therapy. Since he doesn't recognize her as the wife of the man who destroyed his family, Meredith throws medical ethics to the wind and chooses to see him.......and the "see him" part escalates into something way beyond the 'I see that our hour is up' stage.
 
         Under NO circumstances would I dare reveal how Meredith's off-the-rails choices send the plot twisting and turning into all sorts of dangerous directions. Just fasten your seatbelt and take this wild ride all the way to that final sentence that's guaranteed to leave your mouth agape, your eyes raised all the way to your hairline, and dying to tell friends to pick up this book.

        For anyone like me who pounces on thrillers like this, mark this one down as a 5 star Don't Miss.   (*****)  






Monday, July 8, 2024

THE RETRO SUPERGUYS - PART 1...... 'DICK TRACY', WARREN BEATTY'S EYE POPPING , LIVE ACTION SUNDAY COMICS.....


 Dick Tracy (1990)   A decade before Marvel superheroes clogged up movie theaters until we all finally became sick of them, Hollywood had a fling with the sooper-dooper guys of the 1930's......

      These four potential tentpole franchise hopefuls rolled out between 1990 and 1996.  Set in a simpler age of primal good and evil, they featured stalwart hunks with ironclad moral compasses. They did battle with homegrown gangsters, Nazis, immortal warlords and pirates, pausing only briefly for chaste kisses with their spunky, resourceful gal pals. 

       Each of them were (and still are) loads of fun to watch. And yet each of them failed to command enough of a vast worldwide audience to ever insure sequels.  They remain one-offs and we wouldn't hold our breath waiting for any studio to risk reviving them.........

       But we love 'em just the same....

       Let's start with Warren Beatty's drippingly colorful attempt to duplicate Chester Gould's comic strip about lantern-jawed police detective Dick Tracy, the country's most upstanding foe of grotesque, big city criminals. 

        And by grotesque, we mean their nicknames corresponded to their repulsive physical deformities.....villains warped in both body and mind.....(So the hood named 'Flat Top' has a head that's literally.....well, you get it, right? Don't even get us started on the one named Little Face......)

          Beatty spared no expense to drench this film in the overwhelming artifice of a comic book universe.....blinding, primary colors only, cityscapes rendered with gorgeous, suitable-for-framing mattes and makeup and costumes designed to look like the ultimate Halloween party. 

          (In doing so, the notoriously slow moving, meticulous Beatty incurred the wrath of the new budget-conscious regime at Disney, prompting exec Jeffrey Katzenberg to spew out a long scolding memo about the perils of expensive, self-indulgent productions. )

          The movie? A sight to see, to say the very least. Amid the painterly, cartoon backdrops, there's a host of familiar actors under layers of rubberized prosthetics....(Dustin Hoffman, Paul Sorvino, R.G. Armstrong, William Forsythe and many more). There's  Madonna, vamping and vogue-ing it up as a saloon moll warbling sly Stephen Sondheim send-ups of nightclub songs. 

          And most prominently, there's Al Pacino as the film's prime gangster villain, a roaring, raging hunchbacked madman....as is he's Michael Corleone with dementia and frothing-at-the-mouth rabies combined. 

      But sadly, in middle of all these deliberate exaggerations, Beatty's mundane, barely there portrayal of the title character leaves a gaping hole in the proceedings. He sleepwalks through the role as if he was temporarily filling in for some better actor who might turn up later.  Mostly, his main function is to inhabit the ultra bright yellow top coat that swirls around him as he strides through all the artfully brilliant  renditions of a cartoon world. 

         Since there's no point to the film beyond the overwhelming creativity that went into its visuals, viewers could only latch on the only two characters with the closest resemblance to human beings.... a streetwise orphan known as 'the kid' (Charley Korsmo and Tess Trueheart  (an excellent Glenn Headley), Tracy's sweet but feisty girlfriend. 

         As for Madonna, she works to the usual limit of her ability.....to strike a pose. 

         For all its deficiencies as an actual real movie, "Dick Tracy" is still a one-of-a-kind feast for the eyes.  While we've no idea what led Warren Beatty to apply his expensive, time-consuming micro-managing filmmaking to what seems like, for him, such trivial material, the film's a must-see for anyone who doesn't mind losing themselves in a fantasy world for a few hours. 

         3 stars (***). Next up, the Disney studio takes another crack at a 1930's hero.....only this guy can literally blast off.....stay tuned.