Scream VI (2023) It's a toss-up as to what I hated the most about this film.....
First, the ridiculous, tortuous running time of 122 minutes. 2 solid hours for a movie that holds, at most, maybe 75 minutes of storyline......and I'm being generous there.
Second, the deluded numbnuts who concocted this atrocity must take their perception of reality from watching superhero movies........where death is meaningless, trivial and far from permanent.
Third, their limited grasp of human anatomy seems derived from Loony Toons. In ScreamWord, it's possible to endure a six inch hunting knife plunged into your abdomen repeatedly.....and suffer only minor discomfort.
This movie's expected body count ends up eclipsed by the number of cast members who are gutted like freshly caught trout......but still remain alive and well for the finale. Presumably, instead of watching their intestines spill out on the floor like 20 pounds of linked sausage, their tummies close up faster and easier than zip-lock baggies.
Yeah....right.
Yes I do fully understand that the "Scream" series derives from writer Kevin Williamson deconstructing the slasher genre with meta snark.....kidding around while at the same time, letting the blood gush in fire-hose torrents.
And I'll even credit co-directors Matt Bettinelli Opin and Tyler Gillett with risking accusations of blasphemy and sacrilege by upending the traditional opening kill sequence.....
But the rest of it? Dreary, boilerplate slash-o-rama that drags on and on.......and makes the fatal flaw of slasher movies all too apparent.....
Which is simply this.......with life valued so cheap in this these films, then why on earth should we in the audience give a rat's ass about who goes under the knife?
Just askin'......
Okay, that's more than enough time wasted on this movie.....I realize it's an automatic must-watch for Scream completists. And I'll say this much.....fans who expect and demand a mind-numbingly idiotic, senseless 'Ghostface' reveal, this one's a beaut and won't disappoint in its perfectly fashioned lunacy. 1 & 1/4 star (* 1/4).
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