Monday, April 3, 2023

'THE LAST VALLEY'.....30 YEARS WAR & NOT MUCH PEACE......



 The Last Valley (1971)   Here's the kind of film that could only be greenlighted as a big budget epic in the freewheeling 1970's......

              Why do I make that claim?  Try walking into an executive studio boardroom today and make this pitch.....an action-drama set in that fun-loving era of the 30 years war in Europe (1618-1648).......endless random violence!  Sex-crazed mercenaries raping and pillaging! Accused witches burned at the stake!  Battle gore galore! Almost nobody with a moral compass!  And directed by a novelist!

              On second thought.....come to think of it.......other than the "directed by a novelist", maybe this could end up in today's multiplexes.......if you told the studio execs that Ridley Scott came with the package. 

                The Thirty Years War featured Protestant and Catholic armies slaughtering each other with fervent abandon. In  short, it resembled an endless Monty Python skit, loaded with hacked up corpses amid plague-ravaged European hellscapes.

                We begin here with Vogel (Omar Sharif) a desperate former University teacher, fleeing the mayhem and perpetual high body count. He stumbles into a lush peaceful valley of simple farming villagers......but then so do a ragtag band of  mercs made up of both warring religions.....they're just out for some random rape 'n pillage. Their leader, known only as 'The Captain' (Michael Caine) is a coldly amoral, ruthless death dealer, willing to fight on any side that pays well.

                  Humanistic Vogel, way ahead of his time in that regard,  talks  the normally heartless Captain into sitting out the winter in the gorgeous Valley, which so far remains hidden, like Shangra-La, from the constant carnage that surrounds it. 

                  No end of complications ensue, as Vogel and Captain cope with a scheming village leader (Nigel Davenport), a maniacal Catholic priest (Per Oscarsson) and some of the Captain's own brutal men, who are revolting in every sense of that word.  All of this bloodsoaked Sturm and Drang touch off new rounds of death and destruction.......with not many of out cast of characters coming out of it alive. 

                 Hey, that's the Thirty Years War for ya......not exactly a fun time......except for audiences who can never get enough scenes of peasants and warriors impaled, sliced and diced with arrows, swords, spears and axes.  Woo-hoo, let the good times roll.........along with some assorted limbs. 

                  Novelist turned film director James Clavell, (author of  "Shogun" and "Tai Pan" and director of "To Sir With Love") serves up a full five course meal here. Spectacular battles, overheated melodramatics, stunning scenery and all of it put to a momentously grand bur ominous score by John Barry, one of his all time best efforts

                 Sharif and Caine make for a memorable odd couple of Fierce Battler and Warmhearted Academic.   The rocky road of their unstable, tenuous alliance keeps you glued to the story even as it lurches from one harrowing episode to the next.

                  Even though it's been longer than the Thirty Years War since my first viewing of "The Last Valley", it still holds up as  rip-roaring opulent costume spectacle......and God bless it's bleeding little heart, not a single CGI pixel in sight. Real battles, real stuntwork, real sets, real scenery, no need to list 745 people from 8 different special effects companies.....

                   For anyone who's never seen it or never even heard of it, which is entirely possible, I can honestly report that 52 years later, it's still an entertaining experience .....(especially for you young 'uns who've only seen Michael Caine in his old, old age roles.....once upon a time, this guy was among the hottest young movie stars we all turned out to watch.....3 & 1/2 stars (***1/2)

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