Monday, March 13, 2023

OSCARS WRAP-;UP......AT LEAST WE'RE NOT CALLING IT THE OSCARS SLAP-UP......


The Academy Awards Show 2023  

                Some random thoughts.....and rants.....

Jimmy Kimmel as host....other than a few misguided moments, did just fine. Probably earned himself hosting this as a steady gig, like Billy Crystal, Bob Hope and Johnny Carson....

Best Kimmel gag -  the very last one, adding a total of "1" to the 'Academy Awards Without Incident' warehouse safely sign......

Worst Kimmel moment.....attempting a lame comedy bit with Malala, who perfectly shut him down....when some non-entity comedian tried a similar dumb bit with the "Tar" bunch at the Independent Spirit Awards, they hid under a table.  Without a table to hide under, Malala replied, "I only speak of peace"....good for her. 

Elizabeth Banks presents with Cocaine Bear......if you want an actual real example of what "Cocaine Bear" would've looked like without 21st century CGI, check out John Frankenheimer's 1979 "Prophecy", about a mutant bear created by mercury poisoning in the water.(or see BQ's post of  6/15/17.......

Disney, ABC's owner, throws in a "Little Mermaid" trailer.....thereby turning the Oscars into the MTV Movie Awards.  

The Kevin McCarthy-Tucker Carlson Alternate Reality Award goes to.....the Warner Brothers ad touting their long glorious history in a clips montage......which now includes MGM's "2001", "Singin' In The Rain" and "The Wizard Of Oz".  I guessing when Disney does an ad like this, they'll include Fox's "The Sound Of Music" and "The Grapes Of Wrath" to their parade of Disney produced classics.


The "In Memoriam" Death Parade trainwreck.....this more than fulfills the only 100% safe prediction I make every year about the Oscars......and the Academy never, ever disappoints....you can always, always depend on the show to deliver an obituary sequence that's offensive, poorly presented and staggering in its stupid, glaring omissions. 

Hugh Grant runs out of patience with model Ashley Graham's usual inane red carpet questions.....one of the most priceless, cringe-worthy pre-show moments  ever. ("What are you wearing?" "My own suit")  Grant compares the gathering of celebs to Vanity Fair and Graham thinks he's referring to the after-party thrown by Vanity Fair magazine.....a keeper of a moment, this one.....


The David Byrne musical number from "Everything Everywhere All At Once" .....where do I even begin with this?   A toss-up as to what's more atrocious.....the song itself or its embarrassing presentation.  Funny, though......it looks like an "America's Got Talent" episode where the judges hit their "get-the-hell-out-of--here-you-no-talent-dorks" buzzers......

The "Naatu Naatu" dance number from "RRR"  As sure as I knew the "In Memoriam" would suck beyond all belief, I knew this number would stop the show and rock the Dolby Theater to the upper balconies. And in what freakin' world does "RRR" end up not even competing among the "Best Foreign Film nominees?   It's pacing, spectacular action  and overall frenzied craziness make "Everything Everwhere" look like an oil painting.....

The 'Everything Everywhere All At Once  awards sweep.....With one exception, I stand by my evaluation of this film in last week's post of 3/7/23.  I do admire a lot of stuff in it, but in no way, not in  this world or any other does it qualify as a Best Picture Of The Year. 

               The exception I've changed my mind on.....Ke Huy Quan winning Best Supporting Actor.  Comparing his performance to the other nominees......sorry. Nope, but any of the other nominees do more skilled, nuanced work than Quan. Sadly, none of them had a real shot against EEAAO's  zeitgeist tornado blowing everything and everyone out of its way.


             The passage of time, as I've pointed out, will ultimately judge this film -  especially if, in subsequent years, we're lucky enough to see the Oscars dominated by films that both critics and popcorn munchers can equally embrace. Films like "Chinatown", "The Godfather", "Silence Of The Lambs" and "Titanic". 

                 If such films come to exist, I expect we'll compare them with EEAAO...and do it harshly.......and we may very well ask ourselves why the world lavished it with such praise and prizes. 

                Time will tell, kids.....time will tell. 

Speaking of banning people from ever attending the Oscars ever again.....the idiot white collar woman.....

               Anyone sitting behind her should've demanded a pair of industrial strength scissors......

And the show itself?   Well, nobody slapped anybody, so that's a plus. And the thought of not seeing Will Smith at one of these things for another nine years does cheer me up. Also, including all the technical awards again was a good idea.......but stop trying to play them off with music.....there's no way they'll ever get this show to come in under 3 hours.....so just let it ride as long as it has to.. Let Oscars be Oscars.



             

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