Fear Street: Part One - 1994 (Netflix-2021) Pardon us if we feel like we should use a stopwatch to clock the amount of time we're spending on this post.......
We wanted to make sure we don't waste any more time than necessary to review this steaming little Netflix turd.
OMG, what a stunning, groundbreaking idea.....to make another re-do of a 1980's slasher movie, complete with bleeding (and bleating) teens, knife-and-ax loons running rampant and generous portions of spurting gore.
Wow, what an explosive brainstorm. Or more accurately.....brain-fart.
So the bottom feeders who concocted this sludge didn't realize that once Wes Craven's "Scream" trilogy mocked and deconstructed the genre, nobody needed to pollute the culture any further with any additional homages or exhuastive re-inventions of slice 'n dice teenage horror movies.
Unless, of course, they had something all new and startlingly creative to add.......
This crew did not. What they did have was a Netflix deal.
Garbage from beginning to end, the film follows the blood soaked fortunes of a bunch of decidedly unlikable high schoolers as they fend off a collection serial slashers resurrected by their town's unfriendly neighborhood 17th century witch.
Okay, time's up.....we're losing the will to live even writing about this. It's strictly for gorehounds who'll be living in the basement of their parents' house until they're ready for Medicare themselves.
Zero stars. (0). A floating barrel of toxic waste.
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