'HANNIE CAULDER'.......WAY OUT WEST, RAQUEL GIVES 'EM HELL......

 Hannie Caulder (1971)   Once again, BQ's tireless search for cinema obscurities of the 60's and 70's has born fruit....

                You want odd? How about a British financed and produced western, filmed in Spain, starring Hollywood's hottest bombshell of the era, Raquel Welch?  

                 And featuring an eclectic once-in-a-lifetime cast including the most mighty triumvirate of character actor villains ever assembled in one films - Ernest Borgnine, Jack Elam and Strother Martin. 

                 On top of the joy in watching that trio practically popping blood vessels to out-ham each other, the film also throws in Sir Christopher Lee as a gunsmith. 

                No wonder this movie's a big fave of Quentin Tarantino, who may have used it as the template for his two "Kill Bill"s......

                That's right, we're talkin' female empowerment with a vengeance here. And hell hath no fury like Raquel's Hannie Caulder.   Ernie, Jack and Strother, playing an unholy trio of squabbling, psychotic brothers, invade her frontier home, gang rape her, kill her husband and burn her house to the ground.  And these scorched earth bandits are far from done.

                 Hannie survives it all,  but before payback and karma can commence, our gal needs mentoring and training in gun play......which she gets from wandering veteran bounty hunter Thomas Price, played deftly by underappreciated Robert Culp.

                  So off our odd couple go to Mexico and the remote beachside hacienda of a reclusive gunsmith Bailey  (Christopher Lee). who makes Hannie a spiffy new fast draw firearm. Though Price cautions her against hitting the vengeance trail, Hannie rides off anyway to give the brothers instant lead poisoning.

                  And with Borgnine, Elam and Martin, here's where the movie wobbles in tone. As they overact to the max, the movie sometimes serves up their endless jabbering as comedy relief. Then the film turns around and shows them slaughtering innocent bystanders during their botched attempts at bank robberies. ( Elam and Martin's wailing byplay may remind you of the depraved bounty hunting duo played by Martin and L.Q. Jones in "The Wild Bunch". )  

                 "Hannie Caulder" ends up as a lumpy hybrid of both American and Italian westerns.....the film's embrace of casual, nihilistic Sergio Leone-type carnage is typical of westerns in the 1970's.....for a more brutal, graphic example, check out BQ's 9/14/17 post on "The Hunting Party", also a 1971 release and also an oddball, blood-soaked mix of a British-American production filmed in Spain. 

                  While she spent her entire career  mocked by critics who labeled her as a starlet with delusions of adequacy, Raquel Welch gives her role a full commitment, at least to the extent of her limited range.  And there were never more infinitely watchable actors than Borgnine, Elam, Martin and the near immortal Christopher Lee....all together.....and all way out west....(or the European equivalent )

                  Regardless of its uneven tone, "Hannie"s a must watch (at least once) for western completists and fans of the cast. 2 & 1/2 stars (**1/2)

'THE OMEGA MAN'.....JUST ANOTHER 70'S APOCALYPSE......

 The Omega Man (1971)   Like Jack Finney's novel, "The Body Snatchers", Richard Matheson's "I Am Legend" will probably get remade every 40 years or so......chances are subsequent generations will each get their very own movie version of the story. 

           Film producers simply cannot resist Matheson's primal tale of the last man left on a post apocalyptic Earth...... waging a one man war against the rest of the populace who've been transformed by a pandemic into nocturnal vampire-zombie creatures.

           First up was 1964's "The Last Man On Earth" with Vincent Price......an ultra cheap, crudely put together Italian movie.....

            Next up came "The Omega Man".....and even though starring big, big big movie star Charlton Heston, Warner Brothers didn't spend much more on it than American International coughed up for "The Last Man On Earth"......(at least shooting it in color and Panavision rendered 'Omega' way more watchable than the mostly stillborn "Last Man...")

            Before George Lucas returned rousing happy endings to cinema with "Star Wars", science fiction movies in the 70's were almost always dystopian downers.  The message......the future's a dead end and we're all gonna die horribly.....munch your popcorn while you still can.....

             In 'Omega', Russia and China have nuked it out, with collateral damage unleashing toxic bacteria. So anyone left alive (and there's not many) are now psychotic albino zombies. The 'Zalbinos' as I'll call them, feature white eyeballs, white hair, leprous eruptions on their faces and lurk about in Spirit Halloween Shop  Mad Monk costumes......resembling overgrown 'Star Wars' Jawas. 

              The Zalbinos have become a medieval cult under the Trump-like guidance of their leader Mathias (Anthony Zerbe), who used to be the TV anchorman reporting on all the oncoming catastrophes.  (So now we know where Sean Hannity will end up when Armageddon befalls us....)

               Our stalwart Last Man On Earth is of course the ever clench-jawed Chuck Heston. He's Doctor Neville, a former military scientist who patrols the deserted Los Angeles streets, hunting and machine-gunning Zalbinos, When not offing the Zs, he delivers, to amuse himself, a snarky monologue on the sorry state of things......(...."there's never a cop around when you need one....")

               But wait!  More human survivors surface, including a beautiful young black woman (Rosalind Cash), a med student (a rare sympathetic, non-sleazy role for Paul Koslo) and a whole group of kids. Neville creates a serum from his own blood to help cure one of them, a teen who's well on his way to Zalbino-hood......but the violent battles with Mathias and his Mad Monks ultimately takes their toll.....

              This is, after all, pre-Star Wars, pure 1970's 'we're-all-going-to-Hell' science fiction, so the climax here is tragically pre-ordained, but with a smidge of hope and uplift. 

              Compared to all the monumental, mega-budgeted epics that defined Charlton Heston's career, his appearance in the fast 'n cheap "The Omega Man" makes him look like he's slumming for some quick cash.......(in fact, he'd go on to star in other slapdash little movies like "Skyjacked" and the even more dystopian "Soyland Green")

              Still, as modest as it is, the film's never boring and the script by John and Joyce Corrington livens it up some more with bursts of snappy patter. And if you're searching for a prime example of science fiction filmmaking of the 1970's (prior to the 'Star Wars' avalanche, which changed everything), this one's worth checking out.  2 & 1/2 stars (**1/2).

               P.S......no, I'm not forgetting the third film version of Matheson's book, finally using its actual title, the 2007 Will Smith behemoth "I Am Legend" I  barely remember a thing about it except its over reliance (as do all today's sci-fi films) on CGI.  I'll need to catch up with it again to do a post......and in no way do I count, as a remake,  the wretched "I Am Omega"  from the 'mockbuster' Asylum outfit, churned out to cash in on the Smith film. See that one strictly at your own risk......

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'OPERATION CROSSBOW'......NAZIS, ROCKETS, SPIES AND SOPHIA!

 Operation Crossbow (1965)    Pardon me for gushing, but I could never get enough of this particular 1960's genre.....

             It all kicked off with the 1961 all-star World War 2 high adventure "The Guns Of Navarone", taken from an Alistair MacLean novel.

             Who could resist the basic premise......a disparate team of Allied commandos come together to pull off a true 'Mission Impossible' that will alter the course of the war.  This task requires deep, harrowing infiltration into Nazi strongholds, with danger of discovery and death lurking around every corner. 

            The commandos' desperate quest invariably ended up with huge fiery explosions and numerous, blazing  machine gun firefights with Nazi hordes.      

            Oh YES, please. Keep those rat-a-tat bullets flying through the air until there's mountains to dead German soldiers piled up to the ceiling.......

           Usually these major budgeted movies enjoyed a big push from the studios. But for reasons I still can't figure out, "Operation Crossbow" got tossed into theaters by MGM with little or no fanfare. 

           It's as if they'd already given up on it, and at some point, even tried the always futile useless gimmick of changing the film's title.....(to "The Great Spy Mission"....yikes.)  I can't think of any instance where switching a movie's terse, appropriate title to something corny and obvious ever worked well.

            Very odd......and a damn shame, since the film presents an ambitious, visually lavish depiction of England's stiff upper lip attempts to thwart one of Hitler's most destructive weapons - the V1 and V2 rockets that came flying over the English channel to slam into the heart of London, slaughtering innocent civilians. 

            And yet the film starts off with an almost documentary-like, even-handed depiction of Germany's development of the rockets, starting with their fearless test pilot Hannah Reitsch (Barbara Rutting) agreeing to pilot one of the flying bombs to correct a navigation glitch. 

            Back in London, Churchill's War Minister (Richard Johnson) wants the rocket sites bombed, but clashes with a cranky, disbelieving professor (Trevor Howard) who doesn't think the bombs exist. Nevertheless, three army engineers (George Peppard, Jeremy Kemp and Tom Courtenay) volunteer to go undercover and penetrate the underground Nazi lair where their largest rocket's being prepared to decimate London. 

            True enough, a lot of fact and fiction gets freely mingled up here.... and somewhere in the middle ,things stop cold when Peppard awkwardly finds himself stuck with  the widow of the dead man he's impersonating...played by Sophia Loren. (Her brief but dramatic appearance no doubt came at the insistence of the movie's producer, Loren's husband Carlo Ponti).

            But then we're off the main event (and the really good stuff), with Peppard and Kemp in the midst of the impressively vast German rocket site......and making a valiant, death-defying attempt to alert RAF bombers to the site's location. 

             A spectacular finish is guaranteed and I wasn't the first to notice that in its display of huge sets (very similar to Ken Adam''s work) and the film's finale apocalyptic fireworks, it resembles the climax of a Bond film.......(and since being a rabid Bond fanboy at the time I first saw, this, I didn't mind that at all....)

             And let me not forget to mention that on both sides of the combatants, British and German, you can enjoy spotting dozens of familiar faces in the supporting roles......with the Germans actually using their own language for a change with subtitles.....(a rare technique for big war movies like this.)

            Still and always a BQ favorite, "Operation Crossbow" stands tall as a prime example of this long forgotten genre, and still delivers everything I loved about it.....lots 'o blg blasts and dead Nazis......4 stars (****).

            

'TOTAL RECALL' (2012).....STILL TRYING TO FORGET IT.....

 Total Recall (2012)   Spent years avoiding ever having to lay eyes on this steaming turd of a remake......

              I still can't begin to explain why I finally broke down and suffered through this not long ago. 

              Oh sweet Lord if I could only wish the two precious hours of my life back......

              32 years ago the wild, wild, graphically violent Paul Verhoven sci-fi epic further cemented Arnold Schwarzenegger's status as the premier Hollywood action movie star. And featured a prime role for the formidable, fierce blonde bombshell Sharon Stone. 

             Then 22 years later, along comes Grade C junk director Len Wiseman, then (and still) primarily known for his werewolves versus vampire "Underworld" series, most of them starring his wife Kate Beckinsale

               The perfect guy to make a movie that nobody needs, nobody wants, that doesn't require existence.......a remake of 'Total Recall', only now clogged up with CGI. And with Beckinsale thrown in as part of the furniture, taking Stone's lethal seductress role. 

               A genuine actor, Colin Farrell, takes over Schwarzenegger's role, but in he's clearly overqualified for a cash-grab garbage movie that really deserves a Steven Seagal or someone even worse. Whatever honest performance efforts Farrell makes gets chopped to shreds by Wiseman's typical mincemeat editing of all the action sequences. 

                The action's non-stop but given that the hopeless Wiseman couldn't coherently edit a chase and fight scene even if you held a gun to his head, all the shooting and punching becomes an unwatchable mess, a complete waste of time.

                 Enough. Life's too short. It's a sunny day. Screw this movie. 

                 I'm applying for a Nobel Peace Prize for siting through this in its miserable entirety......considering I'd decided on the rating even after 10 minutes into it. 

                  An A-F-H.....an ABOMINATION FROM HELL. 

                 .....where it never should have left....

WEEKEND MADNESS UPDATE.....SPECIAL 'GOP FAMILY VALUES' EDITION

 The DOJ thinks Trump is hiding even more documents......the missing documents possibly include the ex-President's actual physical exam results, which revealed him to possess the cognitive skills of  a fully grown head of cabbage.....

Attorney Alan Dershowitz argued during that Trump's first impeachment trial that Trump had the power to do anything he wanted.....because he's President.....GOP senators felt uncomfortable with Dershowitz also claiming Trump could, in the national interest, declare himself Emperor of The United States....

GOP Trumpanzees line up to support Herschel Walker, the abortion-ban candidate who paid for his girlfriend's abortion......said a Republican spokesperson, "Oh come one, give us a little bit of credit, will ya....at least we never tried running a Georgia child molester for the Senate........oh, wait a minute,,,,ooops...."

'FAIRY TALE'...THE SANDY QUILL BLOG HAS A NEW REVIEW OF THIS SEASON'S HOTTEST BOOK!

 Fairy Tale by Stephen King (2022)

         Our brother blog The Sandy Quill just posted a hot off the presses review of the new epic Stephen King book every reader's dying to get their hands on.....

          You want to know.....is "Fairy Tale" any good?  Worth reading?  What's about anyway?

          All answers await you.....you've only to click on to:

             www.thesandyquill.blogspot.com

         .....and you'll know everything you need to know about "Fairy Tale'.

           (Not to mention you can also dive into a bunch of other wonderfully perceptive book reviews.....pardon me, I'm biased....)

           Don't wait for 'once upon a time', check out The Sandy Quill now! See you there......

                       

'LET ME IN'......A TWEEN VAMP WHO'LL NEVER COME OF AGE......

 Let Me In (2010)   I can hardly believe I'm just getting around to posting a Halloween season review on this one, considering it's one of my all time favorite horror films......

                 As much I admire "Let The Right One In",  the 2008 Swedish film that "Let Me In" is a remake of, I still prefer this Americanization by director Matt Reeves ("Cloverfield", "The Batman").

                  The performances, the visual craft shown in the filmmaking and the startling moments of sheer horror stay with me still......for reasons I'll now outline.....

                    Very few film directors attempt walking a perilous tightrope between horror and heartbreak.....creating scenes and characters you fall in love with while at the same time scaring the crap out of you. 

                    No easy task. That's why today's horror movies keep it simple and safe.....give 'em a gore-drenched geek-fest fit for a Friday night at the multiplex.  Load 'em up with jump scares (the laziest of all techniques), and gallons of blood gushing out faster than in that elevator from "The Shining".  And don't forget to throw in the wink-wink meta jokes......

                    "Let Me In", however, doesn't do any of that. Like a precursor to those celebrated horror art-films like "The Witch", "Hereditary" and "The Babadook", it's dead serious in its story and the atmosphere of dread surrounding it.  The film sucks you into it and proceeds to work you over. 

                    The storyline's simple and primal...... Owen, a terribly lonely, bullied 12 year old boy (Kodi Smit-McPhee) befriends Abby, a new neighbor who looks about the same age. She can walk barefoot in the snow, her stomach growls with hunger and she urges Owen to fight back against the trio of vicious school bullies who've made his school days a living hell. 

                     But Abby's been Owen's age for decades since being turned into a vampire. She travels around the country with 'The Father',(Richard Jenkins) an adult protector-enabler who's only posing as a father figure while he goes about the business of cutting fresh throats to feed Abby's thirst. 

                    The surprisingly touching and tender development of the Owen-Abby friendship coincides with the 'The Father's coming undone from his years of  blood procuring. (He's been Abby's companion since his own adolescence.) When his attacks on further innocent victims go terribly awry, Abby's forced to do her own human hunting, touching off a chain reaction of death and horror. 

                   None of this story could even remotely work for an audience unless it had two gifted young actors playing the kids. And did it ever have them. 

                    McPhee's Owen takes pathetic vulnerability to new hurtful levels. And Moretz, who's gone on to become a major star among young adult actresses, pulls off  a near impossible task - she makes your heart ache for her and then scares you senseless.....sometimes all within the same scene. 

                   And as I pointed out earlier......no easy task. 

                    Matt Reeves direction maintains a continuous aura of crushing gloom and impending carnage and Michael Giacchino's score, filled with low ominous pounding, accentuates the images with the same dexterity of Bernard Herrmann's Hitchcock music. 

                     'Tis the season for horror films and BQ says anyone looking to start off their fright-fests with a 5 star (*****)  Find Of Finds.....let in "Let Me In.".