We're already making plans on how we'll spend Trump's promised $5000......our personal wishlist....
1. Buy a Unicorn to frolic in our backyard....'cause nobody else in the neighborhood has one.
2. Add that money to our upcoming promised DOGE payout, which we're certain must be on its way to us any day now.....
3. Spend $2500 of the money on a McDonald's gift card to send to the President for Christmas...accompanied by extra packets of leftover cholesterol-heavy grease to spread on the fries.....
4. Consider using all of our vote money and DOGE money to donate toward the President staging a 4th of July Steel Cage match on the White House Lawn.....a fight to the death between Melania and Natalie.....preferably held in mud, ketchup or orange Jello.
5. Immediately donate the entire amount to the Democratic Party.....
6. Move to Canada after the U.S. falls into bankruptcy from Trump having to print another Trillion dollars to pay for the $5000 checks....thereby adding yet another trillion dollars to the national debt, which was already over a trillion thanks to you-know-who.....
7. Hope and pray that all Trump voters will take a deep breath and hold it until their $5000 checks arrive in the mail......
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