*......we spent no time (that we know of) attempting to destroy the Constitution Of The United States, spread hatred, racism and division throughout the entire country, and pick twitter fights with Gold Star widows.
*....... we made no claims that Barak Obama was hiding somewhere behind the walls in our house, recording everything we said......
*........we didn't have a recording of ourselves bragging about sexually assaulting women, so we never got the opportunity to claim the tape was fake......
*.........we didn't tell the whole country that a loathsome, child-assaulting pedophile would be preferable to a Democrat in the Senate......
*..........we've yet to cozy up with any international murderous dictators who put out hits on anyone they don't particularly care for.......
Time Magazine editors, exasperated at these lack of accomplishments, asked us, "Well, what did you do to deserve this honor?"
We explained to them that we felt that our exhaustive, detailed coverage of "The Green Slime", "The Crawling Eye", "The Blob", and "The Horror Of Party Beach" more than qualified us for the honor......
The silence on the other end of the line was deafening.
And as a plus, we further pointed out that we hadn't yet brought the world to the brink of nuclear war by engaging in an elementary-school name calling contest with an already psychotic loon......
To which Time replied, "But that's exactly what would get you a shot at Person Of The Year!"
We were on the verge of hanging up on Time, when one of the editors suddenly blurted out, "Wait! Do you really own a copy of "The Green Slime"? Hey, do you think we could borrow-"
We hung up.
There's always 2018.........
As for this year, all joshing aside, our personal pick for People Of The Year......all of the #Me Too women who came forward this year.......especially the ones who came forward after Baby Orange got off the bus.......
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