Saturday, November 11, 2017

'THE WITCH'......SOMETHING WITCHIN' THIS WAY COMES....

The Witch (2015)   This one sat somewhere in the middle of a huge pile of Halloween DVDs we hoped to get to before Halloween........we gave it an out-of-season shot anyway, since it's perfect for a cold, cold November night's viewing.....

            Not to dissuade you horror buffs out there, but this film's more of a studious exercise in technique than a scare film.....

             Think Stanley Kubrick, but with a rock bottom budget.......like Kubrick's version of "The Shining", it's strictly academic and rigid as a doctoral thesis in its attention to authentic detail.

              And like Kubrick's work it casts a distanced, dispassionate eye on its characters.....inviting you to watch them like scuttling bugs in a glass terrarium.

              Not so much a horror film, more a scholarly treatise......(and nothing livens up a scholarly treatise more than abducted babies and satanic goats....)

             It's that loads 'o laughs time and place, 17th Century New England.....where an uncompromising farmer, his wife and five children get tossed out of their Puritan community......(evidently, from what we can pick up, Dad's too Fundamental even for these folks.....)

              Off they go to make their own way near the deep woods.......
unluckily for them, this place is not exactly Yogi Bear's Jellystone National Park......and this family isn't smarter than your average bears.....

              Horrible incidents pile up, centered around the family's oldest child, a teen girl......played by our new Official Fave, fast rising Star Of Tomorrow Anya Taylor-Joy....(trust us, this girl has all manner of awards in her future...)

               Scary?  (That's usually the only thing folks want to know when we're talkin' horror).  Watch it at night with the lights out and the film's quiet, methodical devotion to its own artistry might sneak up on you after a while. But hardcore gorehounds might end up scratching their heads, finding it a pretentious bore 'n snore.

              We'll say this......writer-director Robert Eggers proves himself a cinematic force to be reckoned with and the BQ can't wait to see what he comes up with next. 3 &1/2 spooky stars (***1/2).......a movie that doesn't get your goat.....the goat gets you.......

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