The Department Of Our Least Favorite Things has recently moved its headquarters....from the $5.00 DVD aisle at our local Wal-Mart to the $3.95 DVD bin at the same store......we found it much easier to think of things that pissed us off as we plunged our hands into a mountain of Steven Segal movies......
The Kendal Jenner Pepsi Ad The latte-sipping, life-cycling loons who dreamed this up are as blatantly cut off from life on earth as Matt Damon was in "The Martian." They never should have taken this off.....it's a brilliantly incisive look into the minds of corporate executives who only see the world through the huge glass sheets on the sides of their office building. Up til now, we thought Starbucks held the record for the dopiest try at tapping the zeitgeist......when they briefly ordered their baristas to write a provocative word on each coffee cup.....Starbucks can rest easy now....for sheer stupidity, they've been outclassed by Kendall and her Pepsi can.......
Devin Nunes Steps Down......oh how we'll miss his rib-tickling antics......the funniest secret agent since Austin Powers.....but ultimately played the role of one the kids in the "Final Destination" movies.....just waiting on the street til a speeding bus squished him on its front grill.
Bill 'O and The Pussy-Grabber-In-Chief.....Rest easy, Bill O'Reilly.... the world's other premier douchebag has your back....bet you feel better now......
Jared Kushner oversees the world.....The BQ sleeps so much better at night....knowing that the Middle East, the U.S. government, the Great Wall Of Trump and everything else is now under the control and command of a 36 year old real estate guy. We only hope and pray that he remembers everything on the "Things To Do Today!" wipe-off board on his fridge........
"The Fate Of The Furious" Go away. Now. Forever.
Microwave Dinners with more than two instructions...... Here's the only kind of microwave dinner the BQ buys......the instructions must read "1.Put in microwave 2. Nuke to hell and gone 3. Take it out and wolf it down. We run screaming from all others, the ones that insist on elaborate Martha Stewart battle plans...("microwave string beans for 1 minute, 30 seconds, stir sauce, heat meat for 15 seconds..... microwave potatoes for 43 seconds....) Aw, hell no......
Tom Hiddleston loses bid to play James Bond....who in their right mind ever thought this ferret-faced character ever had a shot? Also....you can't save the civilized world from arch-villains if you're due for a roasting in future Taylor Swift songs.
That's all from the Department right now......we just hit paydirt in the $3.95 bin.....a boxed set of Spaghetti Westerns with titles like, "Go Kill Them All, Then Come Back"......yipeee. But we promise the department will return.......
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