A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage by Asia Mackay (2025)
Never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I'm starting to lose track of how many books I've read about serial killers who specialize in eliminating only rapists, bullies, abusers, generally obnoxious guys.....and other serial killers.. If this was happening in real life, you'd think the crime rate would've taken a deep dive by now.
Well here's a book that not only sticks it to the patriarchy (literally), but provides an all-too-true portrait of the hills and valleys of married life. Or in this case, the married life of a couple who happily rids the world of terrible people we'd all be better off without.
Hazel and Fox fell deeply in love as they discovered their shared mutual love of offing really bad guys, just for the fun and thrill of it. These crazy kids can't keep their hands off each other, not to mention a whole lot of other unlucky suckers who long had it comin' to them.
Fox came from wealth, now estranged from his reptilian parents who exiled him to Europe when they discovered his....uh...proclivities. Hazel, on the other hand, came up from a hard scrabble unhappy childhood but can reinvent herself to walk amongst her betters. Once they connect and wed, they're a couple to die for, and any number of guys do just that.
Thanks to Fox's trust fund, our lovebirds live a carefree life, touring Europe, littering the continent with corpses. But then baby Bibi comes along and suddenly they're a family of three. And as in all marriages, even the ones that don't pursue homicide as a hobby, Fox and Hazel settle into the normal everyday life of a London family. Fox, who's embraced fatherhood with a passion, decrees an end to their killing careers, which rankles Hazel. Their sweet union moves into the bumpy 'who left the wet towel on the bathroom floor' stage.
Hazel tries her best at normality, befriending a single mom with troubles of her own. But her itch to kill gets the better of her, plunging her and Fox's marriage into already choppy waters. Every couple has their spats, but usually not with knives in hand......
If you're getting the idea that this book's a buncha fun to read, you're right. Author Asia Mackay throws all manner of twists and complications at Fox and Hazel and takes us through an unflinching honest tour of how marriages constantly evolve when children happen. Quite a balancing act since the book's also tossing dead bodies into domestic mix.
Had a swell time with this one and wouldn't mind a sequel to see what the merry marital murder squad's up to next.
Well here's a book that not only sticks it to the patriarchy (literally), but provides an all-too-true portrait of the hills and valleys of married life. Or in this case, the married life of a couple who happily rids the world of terrible people we'd all be better off without.
Hazel and Fox fell deeply in love as they discovered their shared mutual love of offing really bad guys, just for the fun and thrill of it. These crazy kids can't keep their hands off each other, not to mention a whole lot of other unlucky suckers who long had it comin' to them.
Fox came from wealth, now estranged from his reptilian parents who exiled him to Europe when they discovered his....uh...proclivities. Hazel, on the other hand, came up from a hard scrabble unhappy childhood but can reinvent herself to walk amongst her betters. Once they connect and wed, they're a couple to die for, and any number of guys do just that.
Thanks to Fox's trust fund, our lovebirds live a carefree life, touring Europe, littering the continent with corpses. But then baby Bibi comes along and suddenly they're a family of three. And as in all marriages, even the ones that don't pursue homicide as a hobby, Fox and Hazel settle into the normal everyday life of a London family. Fox, who's embraced fatherhood with a passion, decrees an end to their killing careers, which rankles Hazel. Their sweet union moves into the bumpy 'who left the wet towel on the bathroom floor' stage.
Hazel tries her best at normality, befriending a single mom with troubles of her own. But her itch to kill gets the better of her, plunging her and Fox's marriage into already choppy waters. Every couple has their spats, but usually not with knives in hand......
If you're getting the idea that this book's a buncha fun to read, you're right. Author Asia Mackay throws all manner of twists and complications at Fox and Hazel and takes us through an unflinching honest tour of how marriages constantly evolve when children happen. Quite a balancing act since the book's also tossing dead bodies into domestic mix.
Had a swell time with this one and wouldn't mind a sequel to see what the merry marital murder squad's up to next.
5 stars (*****)
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