Cleopatra Jones (1973) We've never been shy about our eclectic taste in films...(which means basically we'll watch anything...), so it probably won't surprise anyone that we took in plenty of 'blaxsploitation' movies back in the day......
And why not? They were fast, furious, funny, outrageous in their copious helpings of sex, violence, drugs and, funky tunes. Not to mention their biggest attraction: hordes of dumb white guys getting their asses kicked by cool dudes and babes sporting afros large enough to have their own zip codes.......
"Cleopatra Jones" holds a special place in the hearts of all of us who remember these movies.......rated PG (a rarity in the almost exclusively R-rated blaxsploitation canon) it's more like a campy, cheeky, cartoon version of the entire genre.
Our heroine herself is a true sight to behold, 6' 2" high fashion model Tamara Dobson, a beyond stunning Amazonian beauty fully equipped with a sleek black Corvette and an outlandish designer wardrobe tailored to her towering frame.
Cleo's a U.S. Special Agent in charge of wreaking holy hell on drug dealers and suppliers...and the film opens with a hugely ambitious, almost Bondian sequence where she supervises the spectacular fire bombing of a Turkish poppy field.
Back on the mean urban streets of American, the owner of that field, a ranting, raving lesbian crime queen (Shelley Winters) vows bloody revenge...("How dare she mess around with my poppies!")
No amount of adjectives we might use can properly describe Shelly Winters' performance as the perpetually apoplectic villain "Mommy".......wearing red wigs, terrifying her minions and fondling her parade of girl-toys, she makes the 'Batman' TV show villains look subdued and understated.
Shelley's a baddie right out of a Scooby Doo episode.......
Fear not, our gal, that tall, tall drink 'o water is on the case......and she lays waste to Mommy's goons in a wild shootout at the airport baggage carousel, a zippy car chase across the L.A. storm drains and assorted gun battles and kung fu kick 'n punch-ups.
We had a ball watching this again, but we're not entirely delusional about Tamara Dobson. True, she has no acting skills whatsoever and her fighting prowess.....uh....shall we say leaves much to be desired. (Any of the bad guys could have shot Dobson repeatedly during the time it took her to launch one of her ultra-long legs into a sweeping kick....)
Makes no difference.......this movie simply requires her to stand there and look like an ebony goddess. Take it from us, Tamara's more than up to the task.
And Winters' army of thugs includes those instantly familiar veteran actors Paul Koslo and Bill McKinney.......a wild card performance by Antonio Fargas as "Doodlebug" one Mommy's black gangster 'frememies'. (That fact that there's a character in the movie called 'Doodlebug' should give an idea what you're in for.....)
We've had middling experience re-watching 70's films.....more often than not, we find they've dated badly, with thin scripts and annoying visual and editing gimmicks that were no doubt considered cutting edge at the time, but appear ancient and laughable now.
Not this one, though. We stood pleasantly surprised to find it just as much fun to watch today as it was in '73. 3 & 1/2 stars (***1/2)........and we guarantee to do an upcoming post on its 1975 sequel, "Cleopatra Jones And The Casino Of Gold".
As one of this film's characters shouts out in the final shot.....ride on, baby.
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