'LA LA LAND' REVIEW......WHY WE DON'T QUITE LOVE IT TO PIECES......

LA LA LAND (2016) is a movie we longed to embrace like a long lost beloved relative, a deliberately retro singin'  'n dancin' valentine to romantic passion....with modern Los Angeles rendered as a candy coated fantasy world existing only as a place for young lovers to swoon into each other's arms (It's the kind of dreamy LA the sweethearts have all to themselves....the rest of the population seems confined to jazz clubs and pool parties.). Could such a miracle occur? Could writer-director Damian Chazelle ("Whiplash") resurrect a full fledged MGM musical, the likes of which disappeared from the face of the earth decades ago, never to appear again except in "That"s Entertainment!" compilation films?

For most of its lengthy running time, he pulled it off. We succumbed right away to Chazelle's showstopping Freeway traffic jam dance number.....and found his romantic duo enchanting, the star-crossed, chemistry-to-burn team of an uncompromising jazz musician (Ryan Gosling) and a perpetually struggling young actress. (Emma Stone). We forgave Ryan and Emma for their tiny, whispery, barely serviceable singing voices......after all, they held the notes a hell of lot better than Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin in "Paint Your Wagon" and Burt Reynolds and Cybill Sheperd in "At Long Last Love"  (...which I don't think anyone saw except me and Burt and Cybill's immediate families.)

And then.....in the film's closing moments......Chazelle slapped us across both cheeks and more or less yelled, "Sucker! You thought you were watching a real MGM musical? You thought you were going to dance out of the theater with a spring in your step and a song in your heart?  Fat chance, buddy. You forgot you bought a ticket to an up-to-date 2016 Independent movie.....and we ain't here to make you feel good, we're here to deliver quirky dysfunction and unsettled unease. So sit there, suck it up, take it and like it."

We didn't like it. To put it simply, MGM's Lizard of Oz Louis B. Mayer would have tossed Gene Kelly out of a high window if he ever proposed 'La La Land's ending for "Singin' In The Rain" or "An American In Paris"

Coldly examined, the odd finish didn't even make much sense plot-wise...and Chazelle further tortured us with a false depiction of an alternate reality that the film primed us for all along....no doubt congratulating himself for already slipping in an extra ending to the film without having to include it as a special feature on the DVD and Blu-Ray.

So sadly, we  can't offer 'La La Land' the unconditional love we hoped to give it....the best BQ can do is strongly admire the movie for its lilting musical numbers sung and danced by its adorable, fetching pair of lovers. We realize that duplicating a long gone genre is a dicey tightrope walk that few directors have any appetite for...(the last time we recall anyone attempting something close to 'La La Land' -  the Renee Zelwegger/Ewan McGregor "Down With Love", an overly arch,preening recreation of the Doris Day/Rock Hudson "Pillow Talk", which, like 'La La Land' kicked off with the old 20th Century Fox CinemaScope logo....it came off as way too precious and self-absorbed, dying a quick death)

Director Chazelle managed to avoid the numerous pitfalls that might have left the film open to ridicule, bringing off the near impossible feat of delivering a flavor-of-the-awards-season critics' darling. (I could waste ten more paragraphs describing the history of movie musical atrocities produced with  the most talented actors and best intentions, to underline 'La La Land's unique achievement....) But ultimately, he chose his film not to fully re-create its genre.....opting instead to leave its audience on a sour, bitter note......when the credits roll, you'll know it's a 2016 film and not the 40's or 50's. And given the 2016 we've had and the years ahead facing us.....we could have used a genuine MGM ending. We'll only sing out 2 & 1/2 stars.