Monday, November 14, 2016

BEAM ME OUTTA THIS MOVIE, SCOTTIE.....BQ BOLDLY SURVIVES 'STAR TREK BEYOND'......

STAR TREK BEYOND (2015) upon its release to the world, probably made TV series creator Gene Roddenberry spin so fast in his grave, the sheer propulsion sent his bones hurling into an alternate universe. We can only hope it's a universe where Paramount wouldn't turn over 'Star Trek' to an action movie hack with ADD and no discernible thought in his head beyond how loud and long the next explosion should be.

Watching 'Fast and Furious' director Justin Lin grind up this franchise into just another brainless, migrain inducing CG-Eyesore for 11 year old popcorn gobblers makes for a mind-numbing, eardrum piercing experience. 'Beyond' fits the title of this movie.....beyond the pale, beyond human consumption, beyond the other worst movies of this year.  I'm old enough to remember how Roddenberry used 'Star Trek' as a clever conduit for his love of human drama mixed with a concerned but fundamentally optimistic worldview.  The feature films struggled to hold those elements together while still delivering the special effects whambams, some more successfully than others. But with 'Star Trek Beyond', all that's out the window....there's nothing left now but what sells summertime tickets and garners the most youtube hits on the trailers....explosions, crashes,chases and that trailer favorite.... characters falling from high places (usually with no physical consequences).

We can't fault the cast, they're all still game and it's damn fun to watch them have their thoughtful and/or comedic moments whenever they aren't dodging raygun blasts or intergalactic debris. Here they do furious battle with an alien badass named Krall (Idris Elba, somewhere underneath 15 pounds of styrofoam or whatever they craft his rippled, fake head out of). No doubt he's named Krall......well, cause he's a mean outer space villain.....and you don't see too many Wal-Mart greeters or Avon ladies with 'Krall' on their name tags. Krall's backstory holds this movie's one paltry plot surprise....but amidst all the thunderous destruction.....really, who cares?

Beam us down and out on this one....but on behalf of the entertaining excellent cast....we'll bump it up to as least 2 stars.

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